Ayahuasaca means ‘the Vine of Souls’ (or ‘the Vine of the Dead’) and in the grip of the brew the teachings we receive come to us as direct EXPERIENCE, not study or lecture. It was therefore a deep plunge to see and experience my own drawn-out, agonising and humiliating death in this way, reflecting the passing of of my father from metastasised prostate cancer in 2003.
Illusion or reality?
I think that most probably what I experienced was NOT an imminent reality but symbolism giving me the opportunity to learn and grow and develop — perhaps the greatest gift of love that Mother Aya has to offer.
If it was love, however, then it was tough love.
I will be having a check-up when I get home and I’m sure the diagnosis in this world will be NO cancer and a clean bill of health. If it turns out otherwise then the message of last night’s session, Wednesday night, was simply ACCEPTANCE and DEAL WITH IT. So just as Tuesday night turned my world upside down, Wednesday night helped restore my balance. None of us live for ever. The poignant beauty of this life, this incarnation, is that it is transitory and always destined to slip away. I wouldn’t have it otherwise
Tonight’s session (Thursday night) will be with the strongest medicine of the week — the form of the Ayahuasca brew that is known as yaje, in which the DMT elements (in this case both N,N DMT and 5-meO-DMT) are provided by the leaves of another vine, Diplopterys cabrerana.
Bracing myself for it! Hope to be back with a further report on Friday.