I’ve had beautiful and traumatic experiences with Ayahuasca this week at Rythmia in Costa Rica. Santha and I and our daughter Shanti have been part of a group of close to 100 people and every ceremony has been magnificent and incredibly well handled.

I have described in previous posts what I went through on nights 1, 2 and 3. See here: https://goo.gl/ZsQoJq

And here: https://goo.gl/3cWLuH

Night 4 was another tough one, with almost zero visions — rather unusual for me — but a lot of deep reflection about what I’m doing, and failing to do, with the precious gift of life in a human body. The gift comes from the universe but in the universe there is a principle of reciprocity and we must give as well as receive. Am I giving enough back? Or far too little?

Normally I would put such questions to Mother Ayahuasca, and she would answer me, yet the only answer I received this week was the direct experience of my own death. I concluded that this experience was most probably NOT an imminent reality but symbolism giving me the opportunity, if only I could read the symbols right, to learn and grow and develop.

But of course I wanted and hoped for more answers.

I didn’t get those answers on night 4, or at least not as I had expected. But then, in the hour before dawn, our shaman offered me a healing, a full-on, energetic driving of the altered state of consciousness towards focus and clarity and an opportunity for the goddess to do her work at the levels of both body and spirit. Then I did get an answer of sorts for suddenly out of the darkness there appeared a burst of light and framed within it the head and glowing golden eyes of a black jaguar.

Mother Ayahuasca is a shape shifter and the black jaguar is one of the classic forms in which I have met her many times before. The message she gave me on this occasion, however, was unsettling. The channel that for so long has connected me to her level of vibration was clouded and what had clouded it was levatiracetam, the anticonvulsant drug that I have been prescribed in high doses since my grand mal epileptic seizures in 2017 (https://goo.gl/drHyiS). While taking this pharmaceutical drug, I was led to understand, my channel to the realm of the goddess could never be clear. If I want to work with her again then I must desist taking the anticonvulsants that have kept me seizure-free since my last attack in August 2017.

Even though the ceremonies for this week are over, and I’m returning to the UK very soon, the immediate effect was that I didn’t take my daily doses of levatiracetam on Friday and have taken none again today (Saturday 1 December). Probably this isn’t very smart! There are medical doctors here amongst our group, and a surgical nurse, and they have all kindly urged me NOT to go cold turkey on the anticonvulsants. if I’m determined to stop I should taper the dose gradually. So I’m going to sleep on this and make a decision tomorrow. Perhaps the wise thing to do would just be to return to my usual dose until the next opportunity to encounter Ayahuasca arises, then taper down to zero in the week or two before the ceremonies and then taper up again afterwards. We shall see. But meanwhile I miss that clear channel!

I have witnessed the almost miraculous effects that Ayahuasca has had on many members of our group during this week. There have been such profound realisations, such life-changing and life-affirming experiences, such beauty, such joy and such love. It is as though my closest family has suddenly expanded to encompass this wonderful new soul family that I have been integrated with through the enchantment of the brew and the magic of the ceremonies. There are people here from many different walks of life and from many different nations and ethnicities and what we have all found is the common ground that unites us.

Would it could be so, always, for the entire human family! There is so much division in the world today, so much hatred, so much fear, so much suspicion and so much greed that our species seems close to tearing itself apart and rendering the Earth uninhabitable in the process.

What fools we are to allow such a state of affairs to persist, and to allow politicians and religious mis-leaders – for their own short-term gain — to divide us from one another in order to rule us.

Brothers and sisters, wherever we are, no matter on which land or under which political or religious system chance brought us to be born, the time has come to awaken from this nightmare of our own making and remember the truth about ourselves — that we are all members of one family, no matter how widely scattered, that none of us have the slightest justification to claim superiority over any other, and that we all share the same hopes, fears, courage, fragility and capacity for love.

United we stand. It is just plain madness to continue to allow ourselves to be divided and defined by the artificial barriers of nation, race or creed. We must remember our common humanity, remember that we are one family, and put that realisation first before all other considerations if our species is to survive the challenges of the coming years and return once again to being good stewards of this precious garden of a planet.

[Image courtesy of Pixbay, CC0 Creative Commons.]

22 thoughts on “Returning to Ayahuasca after three years away — night 4”

  1. Kerry says:

    This is absolutely fascinating, Graham – and as always I’m full of gratitude that you take these journeys in the place of those of us who are still daunted by the prospect.

    One thing I can’t reconcile about our guilt as a species – is the fact that I don’t believe our folly was historically or currently IS avoidable. I think we were forced by circumstance into becoming a technological species and that as soon as this happens, we’re destined to move towards extinction, since this is an ongoing dynamic of alienation from nature. It’s written in full here – http://www.bloombook.co/2018/09/15/whats-the-problem-3/ – but this isn’t advertising – I’m happy for this comment to go unpublished, but I wanted to pass it on to you though. Because my current problem with this belief is that I don’t know where to go from here… I can’t see what the best path for humanity now is – perhaps your insights can help…

  2. KC, Holistic FNP says:

    Please look at the ketogenic diet & it’s use for individuals with seizures – perhaps it is a potential solution for you. Do wean off slowly should you choose to discontinue your seizure med & have a trusted medical provider you can call if you encounter issues.

  3. Owen says:

    Hello Mr Hancock, my name is Owen May, and I have been loosely following your work as well as that of Randal Carlson. I am spiritually open minded-or so I believe to be. I am more than ready to jump headfirst into the exact type of groundbreaking research and quest of knowledge that you seem to be on in this life, and am looking for guidance as to where I should begin said quest. So far I seem to be interested greatly in sites such as Gobekli Tepe, and challenging mainstream academia. I feel shut down and at times degraded by my peers and even family, and wish to be in company of those who are open to admiting error and looking for the truth. I would also say I am a bit too invested in the annunaki side of this, and its driving me mad looking at what so many others have overlooked time and time again. I would love to be a potential anthropologist but maybe the spiritual side of this has another path for which I am to stray perhaps. I am but 19 at the moment, and feel as if though I am being called upon by something deep inside the fibers of my being to get off my ass and find out who we really are. This led me to recently purchase magicians of the gods, which i am more than exited to begin reading. May Peace and good health bless you and your beloved. Cheers.

  4. Ken mitchell says:

    Graham, one does not need a psychotropic Helper to reach the Great Mother. A shamanic journey involving a simple drum beat in the theta range (6 beats per second) puts one in the trance state needed to fly into the spirit realm. I have done this over 1500 times. Look into that, my friend. No drugs needed.

  5. Adam says:

    Hi, Graham.

    I worry about you not taking your meds but at the same time know that meds for epilepsy tend to rot the brain.

    Do you regularly practice some kind of pure meditation like zazen or vipassana. I found that regular practice got rid of all epileptic symptoms for me.

  6. Mark T Jones says:

    THE FEELING OF KNOWLEDGE LOST IS ACTUALLY KNOWLEDGE OF HISTORICAL INGREDIENTS. THE INGREDIENTS ARE CREATION, FLOURISH, CORRUPTION, DESTRUCTION, RECREATION, CORRUPTION, SACRIFICE OF SON. FROM THE SACRIFICE OF GOD’S SON THE INGREDIENTS MIGHT BE WHAT ONE WOULD CALL “AND OTHER INGRES. A MIXED BAG OF INDIVIDUAL BELIEVERS, FENCE RIDERS, THE ADVANTAGE TAKERS THAT THINK THEY HAVE A FENCE TO RIDE AND THE MEN WHO CHOOSE EVIL.

  7. Mark T Jones says:

    THE FEELING OF KNOWLEDGE LOST IS ACTUALLY KNOWLEDGE OF HISTORICAL INGREDIENTS. THE INGREDIENTS ARE CREATION, FLOURISH, CORRUPTION, DESTRUCTION, RECREATION, CORRUPTION, SACRIFICE OF SON. FROM THE SACRIFICE OF GOD’S SON THE INGREDIENTS MIGHT BE WHAT ONE WOULD CALL “AND OTHER INGRES. A MIXED BAG OF INDIVIDUAL BELIEVERS, FENCE RIDERS, THE ADVANTAGE TAKERS THAT THINK THEY HAVE A FENCE TO RIDE AND THE MEN WHO CHOOSE EVIL. THE KNOWLEDGE WE KNOW WE’VE LOST WE WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO HAVE. OUR TEACHERS WERE THE FALLEN ANGELS. I SENSE SOME SATISFACTION IN NOT KNOWING WHAT I KNOW I COULD KNOW. KNOWLEDGE IS GOOD, EDUCATION IS GREAT YOU JUST GOTTA EDUCATE YOURSELF WITH THE NECESSARY THINGS FOR YOUR LIFE AND TO WORSHIP OUR LORD GOD, AND LIVING AND LOVING TOGETHER.

  8. Albert F. says:

    Thanks for the report.

    Several commenters in the August 2017 post mentioned the ketogenic diet. It’s a recognized treatment for epilepsy:
    https://charliefoundation.org/keto-for-epilepsy/

  9. EngTiang says:

    Go on a ketogenic diet Graham as a long term solution for your epilepsy…
    It’s a known natural cure for that and has been prescribed and practised since 1921. Dr. Otto Warburg. Google Charlie Foundation.

    https://charliefoundation.org

    Best wishes to you and family with lots of loves!

    ET

  10. Scott Smith says:

    Hi Graham

    Maybe this resonates with you regarding your health.

    You should check out the reviews of this book on amazon and then obviously check with your docs if it’s suitable for you. This basically removes blockages in your bike ducts and enables your body heal itself. I am an aya user and believe she sent me this book. You don’t really need to buy the book as there is enough info on the web

    “The amazing liver and gallbladder flush” by Andreas Moritz

    Love your work, we need you to be well
    All the best
    Scott

  11. Michael Stenmark says:

    Dear Graham.
    Hope you are well.

    I guess, you are already asking yourself, what is the price and is it worth it?
    Is it a necessity to have a clear and open gate to Mother Ayahuasca? .. and risk your life?
    Should you make sure you can stay a good husband and father and friend for others?
    Does it rest upon your shoulders to, as close as possible achievable, sum your findings and theories that you have not yet formulated for reasons such as waiting until they are strengthen by profs of facts or just because lack of time.

    I wonder, have you given a thought on the possibility of more than one gate. As I am aware of the fact that the Ayahuasca is a brew totally unique and the product of just a few ingredients out of thousands of possible components, still I personally think it is just a product with a local character.
    I have a hard time believing that any shamanistic rite in Japan would face a Jaguar or that the Same-people of my own northern mountains would ever do. My own regions dreamland share figures and mystical entities of other kinds. But we all see and share the same experience here in a way that mimics the way the Ayahuasca brings visions or experience of the same kind to many users.

    I think that this dreamworld is just dressed up so that we can recognize our selves based on our knowledge and reference points. The Jaguar as an avatar for a deity would have meant nothing or little back in the days before the media world of today, to the shamans of the old Scandinavia.

    I believe that Every dream landscape or channel to the realm of the gods or goddess, has its own regional way of being rendered in the traveller’s mind. Little like a computer game could very well have different skins (that is the thermology) or texture or shader of any avatar or object in the game (my trade is game maker since 30 years back.
    Why should it not be that way!? We all need reference points. What use would it be if the gods or entities showed themselves or the messages in graphical dresses that we could not recognise?
    It´s like a computer game, just endlessly more complex.

    And I am sure that you know and are aware of this.
    In my mind, as a reflection to your 4 days reports of Ayahuasca, comes to: Maybe one door is closed – still many more are open. There are many ways of traveling “there”.
    What is the real goal.. to always be inside the door? That door?
    Or be able to reconnect in memories or through other doors?
    I would think of friends and family first.

    / Michael Stenmark

  12. William Takeda says:

    Mr.Hancock the Sharp and clear definition you discribe the way our society is modeled and this urge for the shift that may lead us toward a real single Earth fraternity is an elementary and wise issue that all awakened person should be commited to wide spread.

    I Wonder when you may come to give lectures um Brazil?

    A Hug!

  13. Jordan says:

    You are a major inspiration Mister Hancock! I am grateful for all the knowledge that you keep sharing with the world and I want to thank you for helping me realize that there is something wrong with the society. Your books and lectures have impacted my life so much that I’m going to Colombia in March or April to the Amazon to find a shaman an drink the sacred brew. I was wondering if you know or would recommend any Colombian shaman to facilitate the journey in the jungle. Mad respect for you. Always

  14. Mark Haywood says:

    Graham- So right you are about all of humanity being one tree. Out here in the desert I had an illumination of my own and wrote up a list of reasons for destroying the immigration barriers between nation’s. If you would like to see it I will send it. Mark Haywood

  15. Michael Vogelsang says:

    It’s always nice to hear about your experiences Graham. You are always so generous with your sharing. Thank you. I hope you get some more clarity soon about your healing at Rythmia with the medicine.
    Always looking forward to your offerings.
    Bless you,
    Michael

  16. Stefan Mihai says:

    I love you Graham … you are a great master! Thank you!

  17. Vern L says:

    This is brilliant… hope you have your finances squared away for your family. You’re on the anticonvulsants for THEM too, you know?

  18. michael morley says:

    Thank you Graham.Well said sir.Please continue to do this fine work.So appreciated!!!

  19. Erica says:

    I’m also going to voice loving concern about your meds. I’m not lecturing, and I understand your yearning to…. “level up” in a spiritual sense. But spirit is boundless and limitless and could surely direct you on how to reach new heights/depths in a way that’s both safe and cosmically awesome. May you be divinely guided and very happy.thank you for sharing! 💕🤙

  20. Gigi says:

    I honor your work, adore your words and miss Ayahuasca. I was able to receive the medicine here in the states a few years back with amazing shaman and facilitators. It was quite pricey, so I am not able to experience it as often as I would like. I am grateful to be able to share your experiences with you.

  21. charles m soukup says:

    Beware The New Age.

  22. Rogier Buurman says:

    Thanks for writing your experience. Travelled with Ayahuasca 9 times and after the second started teaching myself how to work with the plants. My interpretation is that the visions disappear because you’re travelling beyond that which can be ‘known’ by the (conscious)brain. On the other hand, by now you, if you live in accordance with the plants teachings, you do no need it anymore. The answers will present itself from within os as som type of synchronicity on the outside. Spinoza would call that intuition. Knowing, which is possible when there is a healthy self awareness/ loving. Your former friend the Canabis plant can help you there. hahaha, sorry. If this makes sense, great. If anyone thinks I am crazy. You are not the first nor the last.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Some basic HTML is allowed.