"All those experts acknowledge that the chances of any humans finding out exactly what was just before are vanishingly unlikely, especially since they have only a maximum of about 5 billion years to find out."

There you go again. To say that "all" of these experts said such a thing is a big fat lie. Ni credible scientist would say such a thing, especially when given a five billion year timeline.

Here comes the part where you don't back up your ridiculous fantasy.

YAWN