I would not say that "I" played a contributing role in any meaningful sense, unless I may have ordered up this experience prior to incarnating in my current form, and since I have no idea about that, I have no opinion. It is my belief that this experienced was ultimately provided for by God the Father.
"(2) Jesus said, "Let him who seeks continue seeking until he finds. When he finds, he will
become troubled. When he becomes troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over
This is a hard to dither out saying.
Did you become troubled? Why?
Were you astonished? At what?
What does ruling over the all mean to you?
DL, good questions. My main takeaway from verse 2 is that it recognizing, implicitly, the possibility of no longer having to seek in any spiritual-mystical sense. Beyond this, when I look at the other phrases, I see room for interpretation but I wonder how much of my own would be projecting meaning onto something whose real meaning might be otherwise. Prior to this experience I had much trouble of a spiritual nature, which were resolved by this and other experiences in highly specific (personal) terms.
I was indeed astonished by some of the things I learned, as these experiences introduced levels of reality that I believe are generally unseen. But isn't this typical of those who seem themselves on mystical paths, DL!?: such experiences are extremely novel.
Of 'ruling over all' I will say this. Near the end of Mass, as I was watching the priest leave the church where this Mass took place, and after having seen what I believe was an unceasing demonstration of God's order, the Father said to me, "Don't worry Mark, I have everything under control." I took that as a reference to the inner Revelation I had experienced, much of which I saw as demonstrations of the Father's order, like He was saying, "I just showed you Order, and now I'm telling you you what you saw."
Because of what I saw then, I had no doubt that the (loving) Father is in control of everything. There was something about the demonstration that convinced me that the Father was not subject to limitations of scale, and that this 'Verse 3" level of reality is greater than our own.
What I didn't know then, was that the same order would be reflected through subsequent events, and major life experiences, all of which hearken back to this event. It's as if some of the order I perceived then slipped out to the other side, here, stamping itself in ordinary time-space terms in ways that reflect the earlier event and its magnificence. That's largely a personal story, whose details I don't care to discuss at this time, fyi.