The wonder of personal growth investigating all kinds of things to do with how we think has two bases: what we think about ourselves; what others think about us. You hit the nail right on the head about all the people you have seen and all those people who have seen you...where were you when it was happening and what were you doing?
How many times have you been somewhere and seen someone doing something that, on the one hand seemed completely out of place, and on the other hand was just perfect? Walk down a busy street at peak hour and turn a corner and there is a street performer dressed as a clown making balloon animals, handing them out to people as hats, or cartoon characters that sit on the shoulder or grasp at the leg, and he has a sign that says 'Pay me with a smile' and pulls faces at those who don't take the balloon animal offered which makes others walking along chuckle. All that seriousness of what folk have organized and are about to step into is suddenly thrown out the window for a few moments...oh, what a way to smile amid the seriousness of it all...and then it is gone behind and folk have kept on with their mission and a little image will pop up throughout the day which gives a chuckle.
Of course some have absolutely no time for such antics, and right they are...something really serious is going on and that isn't the right moment...it is the air they carry...it is in the air...it is something that anyone walking along will feel as though a little storm is moving along. Folk get their own storms then...and everyone keeps away from each other until they turn the corner and see something quite out of place and somewhat perfect.
Tom, all I could do was keep at it; keep being serious and keep being playful; keep being a little elusive and keep being quite obvious; and most certainly keep being me no matter whether folk get it or not. I don't care. I actually do have a lot of fun with it all. It is all part of my own growth and acceptance and having my feet planted firmly and swaying against the flow coming towards me as I lean into the current...it's all information, all of it. I learn such things from being in nature...just watching nature do its thing and not caring what any other part of nature concerns itself with. Otherwise I stand on the corner when the street light tells me to cross and I watch others cross and get the next light...I watch just in case someone has a fall or gets hit by a cyclist or drops something, and I am already moving towards that moment as it happens.
For all intensive purposes, I may look like I am doing one thing when I am actually doing something else, and all it takes is one person to be affected by it in the way they are supposed to. I most certainly thank you for sharing, Tom. Others have been affected in their own ways. And the rest either aren't sure or don't care. Hehe, how much fun have you really had these past few months? What a roller coaster ride, playing darts, pockets full of odd stuff in dog pants that can dribble down the legs, and all in a fun house full of mirrors and windows.
I live in a wonderful world that allows me to do all this and have someone discover they have been an instrumental part the whole time...you turned the corner and discovered the street to be full of performers doing all kinds of things, and now you can interact with any of them or aim directly at one after the other with purpose. Enjoy your day...I am...can't help but to.