If you perceive yourself to be other than what you are, then exert yourself upon your surroundings and discern your efforts for what they can be…either real results or pipe-dreams that do not extend beyond your own mind…prayers are empty words; only effort by yourself can attain results. Go ‘plant a seed’ and watch it grow after giving it a nudge in a certain direction, and know what you are capable of instead of regressing into a state of ‘holography’. You ‘matter’. Don’t believe that you don’t ‘matter’.
Don't think you are anything other than a materialized being, born from your parents upon Earth and no-one put you here. If you think you are something else, then place that thinking outside your head and see what it is you think by doing something about it. If you don't try and do something, then all you're doing is thinking...all you're doing is accepting a true 'hologram' defines you...you are immaterial...holed up in your mind and too scared to break free because you don't want to be proven to be wholly responsible for who you are and what you do.
Yeah, the other form of holography is information, but knowing something still lessens what that knowledge can be used for, doesn't it? The book you read that had something in it that doesn't help with your defining an answer for something means either you got the wrong book or can't decipher what the answer is...or have you asked the right question in the wrong way, so it doesn't make sense yet?
I don't know...it's your head, your thinking, your quest. Maybe a little lateral thinking is needed:
Mary cam home to her fourth floor apartment to find Ted dead on the floor, surrounded by glass and water, a table pushed over, the window open and the curtain billowing in the breeze. The door was locked and no-one had been in or out since the time she left for work. How did Ted die?