BREAKING NEWS

Wild scenes erupted earlier today in the high profile case of Creighton v Vyse with Creighton's legal team coming under fire for unbecoming conduct and deliberate obfuscation.

Proceedings began in an orderly manner with the applicant's chief counsel, P.A. Femano RCT leading his team to their table. Femano has been dubbed The Professor by the jam packed gallery, and looked very scientific in his white labcoat.

Some members of the gallery actually thought that the Professor's qualifications were relevant to the case and were slightly miffed to discover that he has no more credentials in archaeology than the little chap sitting up the back who was quietly munching on a pie whilst ogling the pretty, young court reporter.

Assisting counsel was some chap dressed in a sailor's suit whose identity came into question during proceedings. Apparently, he said his name was Jelly, but the gallery refers him as Gilligan until further proof of identity is forthcoming.

Also at the table was a gentleman wearing a pith helmet covered in tinfoil who clutched a magnifying glass in one hand whilst poring over a scroll of some sort. The Professor deferred to him on important points of translation and he may be the brains trust of the team. He answers to the name of Giza, or Geyser or Geezer. No one is quite sure of the spelling.

Gilligan opened proceedings withe following remark:

"For me the issue is that the mainstream claim to have the evidence and that they are correct.
The opposing view is that the mainstream do not have the evidence and are therefore possibly incorrect, the opposing view require a high standard of evidence commensurate with 21 century science."

This statement puzzled the jurors who were expecting proof of the existence of the cartouche format prior to Dynasty 4. What has 21st century science got to do with whether, or not, the Egyptians used the cartouche as the royal insignia, they murmured?

Gilligan continued:

"Until that proof is forthcoming there will always be alternative possibilities, which must be openly discussed in a genteel manner without fear of insult or humiliation."

The jury appreciated the use of the word "genteel" and nodded accordingly.

Having painted himself into a corner yesterday by admitting that all other cartouches in the Great Pyramid are genuine and realising that it is now of no relevance whether the Khufu cartouche is fake or not - a moot point according to the judge - so long as the provenance of all cartouches is post Dynasty 3, the Professor proceeded to obfuscate in his well practised manner.

He brought up the subjects of tool kits, technology, engineering, project management,infrastructure issues and stonework and completely flummoxed the jury by stating:

"Well, if G1 was built in 10,000 BC, then that's evidence there were cartouches back then, eh?"

Gilligan tried to help the hapless lead counsel by attempting to change the subject to chisels. Although chisels had not been introduced into the cartouche question (and why would they?), Gilligan threw the following at the jury causing numerous puzzled looks:

"The loss of the tools in their entirety must be recognised and addressed.
Simply stating that the tools have not been found is just moving the problem.
Say ten chisels per ton and that's conservative, sixty million chisels concentrated into a few hectares are one hell of a lot of chisels to lose without trace."

Despite repeatedly being asked for proof that the cartouche did exist prior to Dynasty 4, Creighton's team failed to do so, and in exasperation, called defence witness, Martin Stower, "an insane, crazy, delusional drama queen." As a dog was barking loudly at the time, the bailiff couldn't find who was responsible for this outburst.

The following remark by the Professor brought howls of laughter from the gallery:

"Cartouches are an afterthought by comparison."

The whole of Scott Creighton's latest ambit into Ancient Egyptian publications centres around the Khufu cartouche in Campbell's Chamber. The Professor has made it a highly controversial topic and even developed a "conspiracy to defraud" theory around the actions of Col. Vyse and now tries to distance himself from the cartouche as being relevant.

How much is Creighton paying for such representation?

But, things only got worse.

Gilligan was going to assist the Professor once again.

In vilifying defence witness Stower he began with:

"The man's a pretentious chav moron with a personality disorder. A sickening example of humanity."

And brought the gallery to uproar with the genteel comment that Stower was:

"a sad, slimy turd."

The Professor chipped in with:

"The proponents of those tenets would not need to engage in such a vulgar, hostile vendetta. It would be handled maturely and respectfully since the data can stand on its own merit. So far, mainstream is having a hard time producing that evidence and, instead, resorts to sarcasm, intimidation, insults, and name calling as their prime debating strategy.

It's a sorry state of affairs when a field of study is so full of gutter hostility."

We think that he was rebuking Gilligan, but who knows?

The dog kept barking, making it difficult to hear the Professor's final remark:

"The long-standing pillars of Egyptology clearly seem to be losing their ability to stand on their own footings and, instead, require attack dogs to defend them incessantly and hostilely even against the simplest challenge."

Court resumes tomorrow.

lover



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 13-Jun-16 12:15 by loveritas.