I whish you all the strength.
I remember the burning pain when the dog my parents took in the house when I was about 6, died when I was abroad sailing the world and 21. When on leave, I was picked up by my parents from the airport, a silence fell in the car just before we arrived home. My dad said: "Kees, ... we have to tell you something".
In time ................ but that is small comfort now, I know.
Hang in there!