The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational.

"Well," replied Paul, "we've got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars, oh, and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in."
There was a stony silence for a second or two. ''Do you know whom you are speaking to?''
''No,'' replied Paul
''It is the so-called fat-arsed colonel you so insubordinately referred to.''
''Well, do you know who you are talking to?'' asked Paul|?
''No!'' roared the colonel.
''Well thank goodness for that,'' said Paddy, and hung up the phone.

================================
A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic , however, because she remembered
what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it."
Sure enough, pretty soon a snowplow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.
And she explained that her dad had told
her if she ever got stuck in a snowstorm, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Walmart parking lot,
do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"