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My husband and i were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre.
Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the
cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted
between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn't
want to leave them unchaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.

Because i didn't want the taxi driver to know our house was going to be empty all evening, i explained to him
that my husband would be out momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother. A few minutes later
he got into the cab all hot and bothered, and said (to my growing horror and amusement) as the cab pulled away.

"Sorry it took so long but the stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and i had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to
get her to come out! She tried to take off so i grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn't
scratch me like she did last time. But it worked! I hauled her fat arse down the stairs and threw her into the
backyard....she had better not shit in the vegetable garden again."

The silence in the taxi was deafening.....

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Joke Of The Day! 14457 Brian Patterson 19-Feb-16 17:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1023 molder 22-Feb-16 11:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 499 molder 12-May-18 11:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1041 Brian Patterson 22-Feb-16 20:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1128 molder 23-Feb-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 985 michael seabrook 22-Feb-16 22:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 958 molder 23-Feb-16 04:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1051 Brian Patterson 23-Feb-16 16:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1060 Nolondil 22-Feb-16 23:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1028 Sirfiroth 22-Feb-16 23:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 990 molder 26-Feb-16 04:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 771 molder 31-Mar-17 06:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 849 Brian Patterson 31-Mar-17 16:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 966 carolb 26-Feb-16 12:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1063 Brian Patterson 01-Mar-16 23:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 946 michael seabrook 07-Mar-16 18:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 961 michael seabrook 10-Mar-16 22:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1000 Brian Patterson 10-Mar-16 23:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1052 Poster Boy 13-Mar-16 00:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1055 Brian Patterson 21-Mar-16 15:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 962 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 16:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 994 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 17:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1030 molder 22-Mar-16 06:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1021 molder 24-Mar-16 04:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 966 michael seabrook 27-Mar-16 00:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1007 molder 29-Mar-16 06:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 986 molder 02-Apr-16 10:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 938 michael seabrook 02-Apr-16 12:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 953 molder 07-Apr-16 09:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 854 Eddie Larry 08-Apr-16 03:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 920 molder 08-Apr-16 06:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 894 Brian Patterson 08-Apr-16 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 876 molder 13-Apr-16 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 913 molder 19-Apr-16 12:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1035 molder 10-May-16 11:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 955 molder 18-Jun-16 06:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 832 Brian Patterson 18-Jun-16 14:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 915 molder 21-Jun-16 05:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 948 molder 01-Jul-16 07:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 829 michael seabrook 02-Jul-16 17:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 834 molder 12-Jul-16 04:53
Jokes for seniors - not PC 957 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 01:17
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 822 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 01:19
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 809 molder 29-Jul-16 05:46
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 801 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 14:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 815 molder 05-Aug-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 829 Brian Patterson 05-Aug-16 16:23
Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 868 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Aug-16 21:39
Re: Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 831 molder 09-Aug-16 11:32
Re: Joke Of The Day!-Redneck Humor 820 Brian Patterson 09-Aug-16 18:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 775 michael seabrook 10-Aug-16 20:21
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 929 molder 19-Aug-16 03:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 723 Brian Patterson 22-Aug-16 15:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 851 molder 22-Aug-16 23:56
May I Play Through? 834 Dr. Troglodyte 22-Aug-16 15:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 846 Sirfiroth 25-Aug-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 741 molder 26-Aug-16 05:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 782 molder 26-Aug-16 07:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 914 brett z 29-Aug-16 22:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 823 molder 06-Sep-16 03:33
Getting Some 939 randompHactor 09-Sep-16 19:21
Re: Getting Some 862 molder 16-Sep-16 05:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 882 Thanos5150 19-Sep-16 05:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 775 Brian Patterson 20-Sep-16 21:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 777 molder 23-Sep-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 878 molder 30-Sep-16 07:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 818 Sirfiroth 03-Oct-16 23:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 942 molder 07-Oct-16 03:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 851 molder 21-Oct-16 09:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 708 molder 04-Nov-16 11:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 775 Brian Patterson 04-Nov-16 15:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 852 molder 04-Nov-16 20:52
Squat 852 randompHactor 08-Nov-16 06:06
Re: Squat 744 molder 08-Nov-16 09:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 887 aurora 09-Nov-16 17:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 744 Brian Patterson 10-Nov-16 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 766 aurora 10-Nov-16 18:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 787 randompHactor 10-Nov-16 18:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 622 Brian Patterson 10-Nov-16 19:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 684 molder 11-Nov-16 06:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 690 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 04:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 661 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 795 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 863 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 07:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 714 Aeschylus 13-Nov-16 06:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 816 molder 13-Nov-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 752 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 07:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 777 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 679 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 711 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 706 Brian Patterson 15-Nov-16 17:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 849 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 688 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:34
Re: Joke Of The Day! 707 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 666 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 773 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 710 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 731 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 811 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 789 aurora 18-Nov-16 06:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 876 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 07:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 830 Aeschylus 19-Nov-16 00:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 790 Aeschylus 20-Nov-16 22:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 740 Aeschylus 22-Nov-16 06:41
Re: Joke Of The Day! 822 Eddie Larry 26-Nov-16 04:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 737 molder 26-Nov-16 07:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 764 Eddie Larry 26-Nov-16 05:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 805 Sirfiroth 01-Dec-16 16:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 767 molder 02-Dec-16 11:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 776 molder 06-Dec-16 04:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 757 molder 13-Dec-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 742 Brian Patterson 13-Dec-16 16:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 868 molder 23-Dec-16 06:40
Joke Of The Day! 707 Dr. Troglodyte 24-Dec-16 20:11
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 859 molder 07-Feb-17 22:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 739 Brian Patterson 08-Feb-17 17:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 820 michael seabrook 12-Feb-17 00:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 871 molder 16-Feb-17 04:09
Re: Joke Of The Day! 851 Eddie Larry 26-Feb-17 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 847 carolb 01-Mar-17 01:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 797 Eddie Larry 01-Mar-17 19:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 695 carolb 01-Mar-17 20:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 826 Eddie Larry 02-Mar-17 22:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 751 carolb 02-Mar-17 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 688 michael seabrook 05-Mar-17 22:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 807 carolb 05-Mar-17 23:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 696 michael seabrook 11-Mar-17 23:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 786 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 660 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 00:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 755 carolb 12-Mar-17 00:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 774 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 07:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 710 carolb 12-Mar-17 13:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 672 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 20:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 708 carolb 12-Mar-17 21:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 713 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 21:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 723 michael seabrook 21-Mar-17 14:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 792 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 711 molder 03-Mar-17 03:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 753 molder 10-Mar-17 02:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 799 Brian Patterson 10-Mar-17 16:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 786 molder 21-Mar-17 08:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 723 michael seabrook 25-Mar-17 08:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 862 molder 04-Apr-17 02:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 805 molder 21-Apr-17 03:02
Re: Joke Of The Day! 712 Archaic 21-Apr-17 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 569 molder 24-Apr-17 04:37
Did you hear about the Doctor on the United Flight? 942 Archaic 24-Apr-17 10:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 629 Brian Patterson 24-Apr-17 14:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 664 molder 25-Apr-17 05:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 854 molder 02-May-17 10:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 748 Brian Patterson 02-May-17 23:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 779 molder 09-May-17 02:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 682 AstralDruid 17-May-17 06:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 686 michael seabrook 17-May-17 21:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 599 Brian Patterson 22-May-17 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! How to make a bad mistake 585 molder 23-May-17 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 719 molder 24-May-17 01:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 663 molder 27-May-17 11:05
Karma - angry ole' geezer gets his come-uppance! 699 carolb 30-May-17 19:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 697 Dr. Troglodyte 06-Jun-17 16:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 625 Brian Patterson 06-Jun-17 22:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 726 molder 09-Jun-17 03:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 723 molder 20-Jun-17 01:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 633 Brian Patterson 22-Jun-17 20:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 531 molder 22-Jun-17 22:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 550 Sirfiroth 23-Jun-17 02:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 779 molder 23-Jun-17 03:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 662 molder 30-Jun-17 03:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 637 Brian Patterson 30-Jun-17 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 614 Deep1 02-Jul-17 07:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 542 Brian Patterson 04-Jul-17 15:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 648 molder 14-Jul-17 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 597 Brian Patterson 14-Jul-17 17:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 683 molder 21-Jul-17 05:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 519 Brian Patterson 25-Jul-17 16:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 612 muppedo 26-Jul-17 11:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 694 Brian Patterson 28-Jul-17 14:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 543 Sirfiroth 28-Jul-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 645 molder 01-Aug-17 03:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 611 molder 04-Aug-17 03:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 527 Brian Patterson 04-Aug-17 20:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 574 molder 08-Aug-17 03:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 529 molder 11-Aug-17 03:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 544 Brian Patterson 15-Aug-17 15:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 543 molder 18-Aug-17 05:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 497 Fsbirdhouse 23-Aug-17 17:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 524 michael seabrook 23-Aug-17 21:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 511 Fsbirdhouse 31-Aug-17 16:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 530 molder 31-Aug-17 16:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 585 Fsbirdhouse 01-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 530 Brian Patterson 01-Sep-17 19:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 517 molder 02-Sep-17 19:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 538 Brian Patterson 05-Sep-17 15:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 621 molder 15-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 523 molder 03-Oct-17 03:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 573 Brian Patterson 03-Oct-17 23:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 576 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 555 molder 09-Oct-17 05:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 503 Brian Patterson 09-Oct-17 18:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 538 molder 06-Oct-17 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 551 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 05:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 553 molder 10-Oct-17 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 495 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 488 Eddie Larry 27-Oct-17 17:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 525 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 18:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 500 molder 21-Nov-17 02:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 485 molder 22-Nov-17 21:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 524 muppedo 25-Nov-17 02:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 537 molder 27-Nov-17 11:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 498 molder 01-Dec-17 03:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 483 molder 05-Dec-17 04:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 497 molder 08-Dec-17 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 460 molder 11-Dec-17 07:43
Xmas joke 501 drew 13-Dec-17 23:34
Re: Xmas joke 473 michael seabrook 16-Dec-17 07:58
Re: Xmas joke 491 drew 18-Dec-17 00:32
Christmas Joke 467 carolb 18-Dec-17 23:37
Re: Christmas Joke 468 molder 19-Dec-17 04:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 481 molder 15-Dec-17 03:33
New Job in Chicago 463 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Dec-17 17:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 470 molder 28-Dec-17 03:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 467 molder 29-Dec-17 00:05
The Two Friends 466 Dr. Troglodyte 31-Dec-17 17:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 470 molder 03-Jan-18 04:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 487 molder 12-Jan-18 04:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 452 molder 30-Jan-18 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 527 molder 02-Feb-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 527 molder 23-Feb-18 22:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 452 molder 16-Mar-18 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 437 Brian Patterson 16-Mar-18 20:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 480 molder 17-Mar-18 13:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 467 molder 24-Apr-18 03:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 438 molder 01-May-18 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 448 molder 04-May-18 03:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 428 molder 11-May-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 419 molder 25-May-18 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 419 molder 30-May-18 11:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 418 molder 08-Jun-18 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 407 molder 12-Jun-18 04:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 416 molder 23-Jun-18 00:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 365 molder 17-Aug-18 04:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 371 molder 21-Aug-18 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 381 molder 25-Sep-18 10:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 385 molder 05-Oct-18 04:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 396 Brian Patterson 06-Oct-18 03:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 355 molder 19-Oct-18 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 299 molder 04-Dec-18 10:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 339 molder 08-Dec-18 05:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 266 molder 18-Jan-19 04:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 249 molder 05-Feb-19 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 241 Sirfiroth 07-Feb-19 17:29
Ed’s Deathbed Bequest 233 Dr. Troglodyte 12-Feb-19 18:40
WHAT IF ??? 236 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Feb-19 23:55
Re: WHAT IF ??? 225 molder 15-Feb-19 11:28
Rodney Dangerfield on Carson: 6 mins 246 Poster Boy 15-Feb-19 23:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 230 molder 08-Mar-19 11:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 237 molder 12-Apr-19 05:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 188 molder 18-Apr-19 22:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 178 molder 23-Apr-19 03:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 207 molder 26-Apr-19 01:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 138 molder 11-Jun-19 21:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 178 molder 12-Jun-19 10:09
Welding 101 157 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Jun-19 19:48
Re: Welding 101 139 molder 22-Jun-19 11:24
bltch 146 Dr. Troglodyte 05-Jul-19 16:43
You had to be there… 142 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Jul-19 17:54
Awesome! 147 Sirfiroth 08-Jul-19 19:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 121 molder 16-Jul-19 02:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 152 ldennyjr 26-Jul-19 01:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 156 Nolondil 27-Jul-19 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 105 molder 23-Aug-19 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 98 Eddie Larry 27-Aug-19 23:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 103 molder 30-Aug-19 10:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 83 drew 11-Sep-19 04:28
After All… 70 Dr. Troglodyte 19-Sep-19 15:10
Re: After All… 84 molder 20-Sep-19 12:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 64 molder 04-Oct-19 05:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 67 michael seabrook 07-Oct-19 20:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 69 molder 08-Oct-19 11:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 72 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 58 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 64 molder 13-Oct-19 10:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 51 Brian Patterson 15-Oct-19 02:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 85 jazzmumbles 08-Oct-19 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 56 molder 15-Oct-19 05:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 59 molder 18-Oct-19 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 57 molder 29-Oct-19 20:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 49 Brian Patterson 15-Nov-19 02:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 31 molder 26-Nov-19 11:43


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