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There once was this guy who was going on a date to the movies with a beautiful girl.
Before he went, he made the mistake of eating a jumbo can of beans.
Right after he picked her up, he felt the need to fart, but he figured he could wait until they got to the movies.
When they got there, he asked her if she wanted some popcorn and Coke.
She said sure, so he went to the restroom.
The line was long, so he went back to the lobby, got the food, and went back into the theatre.
When the movie was over, he goes to the bathroom again, still with a tremendously long line.
So he figures he can wait until he drops her off.
When they pull up into her driveway, she exclaims, "Oh goodie. My grandparents are here. Come on in and meet them."
He agrees, although his A-hole is about to cry at this point.
They go in and sit down at the table.
Finally, he couldn't hold it in any longer a tried to let it seep out a little at a time.
As he squeezed out a toxic blast, he aimed it towards the family's hound dog Duke, in hopes that they might blame the pooch for the horrendous fart.
The girl's father stands up and hollers "Duke!" and sits back down.
"Great!" he thought.
"They really think it's the dog!"
So, he starts bombarding the room with a couple, more powerful, louder stinkers.
Once again, the girl's father stands up, shouts "Duke!" and sits back down.
Finally, he lets it all go and the loudest most hair-curling fart you've ever heard or smelt rippled through the dining room.
The girl's father stands up again. "Duke, get the hell out from under him before he shits on you!"

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Joke Of The Day! 14466 Brian Patterson 19-Feb-16 17:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1024 molder 22-Feb-16 11:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 500 molder 12-May-18 11:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1042 Brian Patterson 22-Feb-16 20:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1130 molder 23-Feb-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 986 michael seabrook 22-Feb-16 22:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 959 molder 23-Feb-16 04:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1052 Brian Patterson 23-Feb-16 16:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1062 Nolondil 22-Feb-16 23:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1030 Sirfiroth 22-Feb-16 23:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 991 molder 26-Feb-16 04:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 772 molder 31-Mar-17 06:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 852 Brian Patterson 31-Mar-17 16:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 967 carolb 26-Feb-16 12:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1064 Brian Patterson 01-Mar-16 23:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 947 michael seabrook 07-Mar-16 18:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 962 michael seabrook 10-Mar-16 22:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1002 Brian Patterson 10-Mar-16 23:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1053 Poster Boy 13-Mar-16 00:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1056 Brian Patterson 21-Mar-16 15:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 964 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 16:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 995 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 17:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1031 molder 22-Mar-16 06:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1022 molder 24-Mar-16 04:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 967 michael seabrook 27-Mar-16 00:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1009 molder 29-Mar-16 06:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 987 molder 02-Apr-16 10:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 939 michael seabrook 02-Apr-16 12:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 954 molder 07-Apr-16 09:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 855 Eddie Larry 08-Apr-16 03:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 921 molder 08-Apr-16 06:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 895 Brian Patterson 08-Apr-16 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 877 molder 13-Apr-16 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 914 molder 19-Apr-16 12:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1037 molder 10-May-16 11:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 956 molder 18-Jun-16 06:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 833 Brian Patterson 18-Jun-16 14:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 917 molder 21-Jun-16 05:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 949 molder 01-Jul-16 07:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 830 michael seabrook 02-Jul-16 17:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 835 molder 12-Jul-16 04:53
Jokes for seniors - not PC 958 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 01:17
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 824 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 01:19
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 810 molder 29-Jul-16 05:46
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 803 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 14:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 816 molder 05-Aug-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 830 Brian Patterson 05-Aug-16 16:23
Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 869 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Aug-16 21:39
Re: Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 833 molder 09-Aug-16 11:32
Re: Joke Of The Day!-Redneck Humor 821 Brian Patterson 09-Aug-16 18:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 776 michael seabrook 10-Aug-16 20:21
Two Candidates Go Into a Bakery on the Campaign Trail… 899 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Aug-16 18:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 931 molder 19-Aug-16 03:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 724 Brian Patterson 22-Aug-16 15:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 852 molder 22-Aug-16 23:56
May I Play Through? 835 Dr. Troglodyte 22-Aug-16 15:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 847 Sirfiroth 25-Aug-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 743 molder 26-Aug-16 05:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 783 molder 26-Aug-16 07:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 915 brett z 29-Aug-16 22:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 824 molder 06-Sep-16 03:33
Getting Some 940 randompHactor 09-Sep-16 19:21
Re: Getting Some 863 molder 16-Sep-16 05:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 883 Thanos5150 19-Sep-16 05:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 776 Brian Patterson 20-Sep-16 21:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 778 molder 23-Sep-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 879 molder 30-Sep-16 07:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 819 Sirfiroth 03-Oct-16 23:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 944 molder 07-Oct-16 03:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 853 molder 21-Oct-16 09:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 710 molder 04-Nov-16 11:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 776 Brian Patterson 04-Nov-16 15:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 853 molder 04-Nov-16 20:52
Squat 855 randompHactor 08-Nov-16 06:06
Re: Squat 745 molder 08-Nov-16 09:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 890 aurora 09-Nov-16 17:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 745 Brian Patterson 10-Nov-16 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 767 aurora 10-Nov-16 18:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 789 randompHactor 10-Nov-16 18:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 623 Brian Patterson 10-Nov-16 19:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 685 molder 11-Nov-16 06:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 691 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 04:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 663 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 796 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 864 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 07:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 715 Aeschylus 13-Nov-16 06:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 817 molder 13-Nov-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 753 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 07:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 778 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 680 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 712 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 707 Brian Patterson 15-Nov-16 17:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 850 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 690 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:34
Re: Joke Of The Day! 708 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 667 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 774 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 712 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 732 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 813 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 790 aurora 18-Nov-16 06:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 877 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 07:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 831 Aeschylus 19-Nov-16 00:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 791 Aeschylus 20-Nov-16 22:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 741 Aeschylus 22-Nov-16 06:41
Re: Joke Of The Day! 823 Eddie Larry 26-Nov-16 04:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 738 molder 26-Nov-16 07:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 765 Eddie Larry 26-Nov-16 05:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 806 Sirfiroth 01-Dec-16 16:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 768 molder 02-Dec-16 11:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 777 molder 06-Dec-16 04:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 758 molder 13-Dec-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 743 Brian Patterson 13-Dec-16 16:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 869 molder 23-Dec-16 06:40
Joke Of The Day! 708 Dr. Troglodyte 24-Dec-16 20:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 745 molder 27-Dec-16 09:49
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Wheelbarrow Man 817 randompHactor 26-Jan-17 21:25
Re: Wheelbarrow Man 747 molder 27-Jan-17 03:30
Re: Wheelbarrow Man 918 Brian Patterson 28-Jan-17 21:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 860 molder 07-Feb-17 22:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 740 Brian Patterson 08-Feb-17 17:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 821 michael seabrook 12-Feb-17 00:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 872 molder 16-Feb-17 04:09
Re: Joke Of The Day! 853 Eddie Larry 26-Feb-17 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 848 carolb 01-Mar-17 01:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 798 Eddie Larry 01-Mar-17 19:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 696 carolb 01-Mar-17 20:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 827 Eddie Larry 02-Mar-17 22:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 752 carolb 02-Mar-17 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 689 michael seabrook 05-Mar-17 22:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 809 carolb 05-Mar-17 23:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 697 michael seabrook 11-Mar-17 23:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 787 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 662 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 00:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 756 carolb 12-Mar-17 00:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 776 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 07:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 711 carolb 12-Mar-17 13:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 674 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 20:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 709 carolb 12-Mar-17 21:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 714 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 21:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 724 michael seabrook 21-Mar-17 14:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 793 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 712 molder 03-Mar-17 03:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 755 molder 10-Mar-17 02:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 800 Brian Patterson 10-Mar-17 16:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 787 molder 21-Mar-17 08:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 724 michael seabrook 25-Mar-17 08:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 863 molder 04-Apr-17 02:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 806 molder 21-Apr-17 03:02
Re: Joke Of The Day! 713 Archaic 21-Apr-17 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 570 molder 24-Apr-17 04:37
Did you hear about the Doctor on the United Flight? 943 Archaic 24-Apr-17 10:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 630 Brian Patterson 24-Apr-17 14:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 665 molder 25-Apr-17 05:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 856 molder 02-May-17 10:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 750 Brian Patterson 02-May-17 23:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 780 molder 09-May-17 02:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 685 AstralDruid 17-May-17 06:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 687 michael seabrook 17-May-17 21:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 600 Brian Patterson 22-May-17 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! How to make a bad mistake 586 molder 23-May-17 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 721 molder 24-May-17 01:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 665 molder 27-May-17 11:05
Karma - angry ole' geezer gets his come-uppance! 701 carolb 30-May-17 19:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 698 Dr. Troglodyte 06-Jun-17 16:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 626 Brian Patterson 06-Jun-17 22:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 729 molder 09-Jun-17 03:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 725 molder 20-Jun-17 01:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 634 Brian Patterson 22-Jun-17 20:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 532 molder 22-Jun-17 22:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 551 Sirfiroth 23-Jun-17 02:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 780 molder 23-Jun-17 03:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 664 molder 30-Jun-17 03:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 638 Brian Patterson 30-Jun-17 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 615 Deep1 02-Jul-17 07:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 543 Brian Patterson 04-Jul-17 15:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 649 molder 14-Jul-17 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 599 Brian Patterson 14-Jul-17 17:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 684 molder 21-Jul-17 05:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 520 Brian Patterson 25-Jul-17 16:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 613 muppedo 26-Jul-17 11:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 695 Brian Patterson 28-Jul-17 14:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 544 Sirfiroth 28-Jul-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 646 molder 01-Aug-17 03:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 613 molder 04-Aug-17 03:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 528 Brian Patterson 04-Aug-17 20:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 575 molder 08-Aug-17 03:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 531 molder 11-Aug-17 03:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 545 Brian Patterson 15-Aug-17 15:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 544 molder 18-Aug-17 05:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 499 Fsbirdhouse 23-Aug-17 17:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 525 michael seabrook 23-Aug-17 21:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 512 Fsbirdhouse 31-Aug-17 16:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 531 molder 31-Aug-17 16:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 587 Fsbirdhouse 01-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 531 Brian Patterson 01-Sep-17 19:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 519 molder 02-Sep-17 19:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 539 Brian Patterson 05-Sep-17 15:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 623 molder 15-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 525 molder 03-Oct-17 03:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 576 Brian Patterson 03-Oct-17 23:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 577 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 556 molder 09-Oct-17 05:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 504 Brian Patterson 09-Oct-17 18:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 539 molder 06-Oct-17 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 552 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 05:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 555 molder 10-Oct-17 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 496 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 489 Eddie Larry 27-Oct-17 17:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 526 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 18:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 501 molder 21-Nov-17 02:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 487 molder 22-Nov-17 21:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 525 muppedo 25-Nov-17 02:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 539 molder 27-Nov-17 11:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 501 molder 01-Dec-17 03:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 485 molder 05-Dec-17 04:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 498 molder 08-Dec-17 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 461 molder 11-Dec-17 07:43
Xmas joke 502 drew 13-Dec-17 23:34
Re: Xmas joke 474 michael seabrook 16-Dec-17 07:58
Re: Xmas joke 492 drew 18-Dec-17 00:32
Christmas Joke 468 carolb 18-Dec-17 23:37
Re: Christmas Joke 469 molder 19-Dec-17 04:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 483 molder 15-Dec-17 03:33
New Job in Chicago 464 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Dec-17 17:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 471 molder 28-Dec-17 03:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 468 molder 29-Dec-17 00:05
The Two Friends 467 Dr. Troglodyte 31-Dec-17 17:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 473 molder 03-Jan-18 04:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 488 molder 12-Jan-18 04:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 453 molder 30-Jan-18 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 528 molder 02-Feb-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 528 molder 23-Feb-18 22:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 453 molder 16-Mar-18 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 438 Brian Patterson 16-Mar-18 20:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 481 molder 17-Mar-18 13:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 468 molder 24-Apr-18 03:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 439 molder 01-May-18 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 449 molder 04-May-18 03:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 429 molder 11-May-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 421 molder 25-May-18 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 421 molder 30-May-18 11:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 419 molder 08-Jun-18 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 409 molder 12-Jun-18 04:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 418 molder 23-Jun-18 00:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 366 molder 17-Aug-18 04:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 373 molder 21-Aug-18 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 383 molder 25-Sep-18 10:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 387 molder 05-Oct-18 04:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 397 Brian Patterson 06-Oct-18 03:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 357 molder 19-Oct-18 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 300 molder 04-Dec-18 10:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 340 molder 08-Dec-18 05:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 267 molder 18-Jan-19 04:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 250 molder 05-Feb-19 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 242 Sirfiroth 07-Feb-19 17:29
Ed’s Deathbed Bequest 235 Dr. Troglodyte 12-Feb-19 18:40
WHAT IF ??? 237 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Feb-19 23:55
Re: WHAT IF ??? 226 molder 15-Feb-19 11:28
Rodney Dangerfield on Carson: 6 mins 248 Poster Boy 15-Feb-19 23:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 231 molder 08-Mar-19 11:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 238 molder 12-Apr-19 05:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 189 molder 18-Apr-19 22:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 179 molder 23-Apr-19 03:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 208 molder 26-Apr-19 01:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 139 molder 11-Jun-19 21:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 179 molder 12-Jun-19 10:09
Welding 101 158 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Jun-19 19:48
Re: Welding 101 140 molder 22-Jun-19 11:24
bltch 147 Dr. Troglodyte 05-Jul-19 16:43
You had to be there… 143 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Jul-19 17:54
Awesome! 148 Sirfiroth 08-Jul-19 19:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 122 molder 16-Jul-19 02:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 153 ldennyjr 26-Jul-19 01:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 157 Nolondil 27-Jul-19 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 106 molder 23-Aug-19 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 99 Eddie Larry 27-Aug-19 23:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 104 molder 30-Aug-19 10:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 84 drew 11-Sep-19 04:28
After All… 71 Dr. Troglodyte 19-Sep-19 15:10
Re: After All… 86 molder 20-Sep-19 12:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 65 molder 04-Oct-19 05:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 69 michael seabrook 07-Oct-19 20:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 70 molder 08-Oct-19 11:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 73 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 59 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 65 molder 13-Oct-19 10:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 52 Brian Patterson 15-Oct-19 02:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 86 jazzmumbles 08-Oct-19 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 57 molder 15-Oct-19 05:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 60 molder 18-Oct-19 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 58 molder 29-Oct-19 20:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 50 Brian Patterson 15-Nov-19 02:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 33 molder 26-Nov-19 11:43


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