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Her First Date ...

 
If you didn't see this on the Tonight Show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it.

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize !

She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... and the guy had taken
her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City,Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful, until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that
she should not have had that extra latte !!

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere !
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told
him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. 
In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to
steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was
a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.  All she could think
about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued
against the car's fender.  Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as
she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due
to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,
she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long?' with a reply that indeed,
she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance !

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then,
as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also
were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal !
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.
Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'.  And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment .. 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out ?
He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
 

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Joke Of The Day! 15369 Brian Patterson 19-Feb-16 17:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1172 molder 22-Feb-16 11:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 629 molder 12-May-18 11:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1185 Brian Patterson 22-Feb-16 20:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1273 molder 23-Feb-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1130 michael seabrook 22-Feb-16 22:03
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1170 Brian Patterson 23-Feb-16 16:50
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1174 Sirfiroth 22-Feb-16 23:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1131 molder 26-Feb-16 04:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 904 molder 31-Mar-17 06:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 985 Brian Patterson 31-Mar-17 16:33
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1204 Brian Patterson 01-Mar-16 23:38
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1127 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 17:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1166 molder 22-Mar-16 06:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1181 molder 24-Mar-16 04:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1085 michael seabrook 27-Mar-16 00:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1136 molder 29-Mar-16 06:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1119 molder 02-Apr-16 10:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1057 michael seabrook 02-Apr-16 12:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1080 molder 07-Apr-16 09:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 986 Eddie Larry 08-Apr-16 03:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1055 molder 08-Apr-16 06:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1023 Brian Patterson 08-Apr-16 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 995 molder 13-Apr-16 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1038 molder 19-Apr-16 12:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1175 molder 10-May-16 11:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1085 molder 18-Jun-16 06:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 969 Brian Patterson 18-Jun-16 14:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1037 molder 21-Jun-16 05:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1079 molder 01-Jul-16 07:35
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 959 molder 12-Jul-16 04:53
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Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 930 molder 29-Jul-16 05:46
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 920 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 14:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 933 molder 05-Aug-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 948 Brian Patterson 05-Aug-16 16:23
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Re: Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 957 molder 09-Aug-16 11:32
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1069 molder 19-Aug-16 03:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 847 Brian Patterson 22-Aug-16 15:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 983 molder 22-Aug-16 23:56
May I Play Through? 971 Dr. Troglodyte 22-Aug-16 15:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 980 Sirfiroth 25-Aug-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 866 molder 26-Aug-16 05:49
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1004 molder 30-Sep-16 07:49
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Re: Squat 867 molder 08-Nov-16 09:59
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 890 aurora 10-Nov-16 18:18
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 912 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 840 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:30
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 938 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:59
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 968 Aeschylus 19-Nov-16 00:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 911 Aeschylus 20-Nov-16 22:00
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 861 molder 26-Nov-16 07:10
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 931 Sirfiroth 01-Dec-16 16:29
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 898 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 07:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 826 carolb 12-Mar-17 13:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 797 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 20:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 825 carolb 12-Mar-17 21:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 847 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 21:27
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 916 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 842 molder 03-Mar-17 03:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 900 molder 10-Mar-17 02:24
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 917 molder 21-Mar-17 08:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 849 michael seabrook 25-Mar-17 08:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 999 molder 04-Apr-17 02:49
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 981 molder 02-May-17 10:56
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 906 molder 09-May-17 02:30
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 725 Brian Patterson 22-May-17 18:03
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 851 molder 20-Jun-17 01:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 753 Brian Patterson 22-Jun-17 20:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 657 molder 22-Jun-17 22:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 676 Sirfiroth 23-Jun-17 02:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 916 molder 23-Jun-17 03:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 796 molder 30-Jun-17 03:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 772 Brian Patterson 30-Jun-17 18:03
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 673 Brian Patterson 04-Jul-17 15:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 796 molder 14-Jul-17 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 713 Brian Patterson 14-Jul-17 17:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 811 molder 21-Jul-17 05:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 638 Brian Patterson 25-Jul-17 16:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 733 muppedo 26-Jul-17 11:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 817 Brian Patterson 28-Jul-17 14:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 667 Sirfiroth 28-Jul-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 764 molder 01-Aug-17 03:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 728 molder 04-Aug-17 03:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 650 Brian Patterson 04-Aug-17 20:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 697 molder 08-Aug-17 03:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 654 molder 11-Aug-17 03:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 674 Brian Patterson 15-Aug-17 15:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 670 molder 18-Aug-17 05:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 622 Fsbirdhouse 23-Aug-17 17:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 648 michael seabrook 23-Aug-17 21:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 639 Fsbirdhouse 31-Aug-17 16:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 653 molder 31-Aug-17 16:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 715 Fsbirdhouse 01-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 650 Brian Patterson 01-Sep-17 19:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 633 molder 02-Sep-17 19:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 652 Brian Patterson 05-Sep-17 15:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 753 molder 15-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 651 molder 03-Oct-17 03:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 694 Brian Patterson 03-Oct-17 23:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 699 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 678 molder 09-Oct-17 05:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 640 Brian Patterson 09-Oct-17 18:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 664 molder 06-Oct-17 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 674 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 05:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 686 molder 10-Oct-17 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 621 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 631 Eddie Larry 27-Oct-17 17:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 652 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 18:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 625 molder 21-Nov-17 02:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 628 molder 22-Nov-17 21:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 644 muppedo 25-Nov-17 02:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 672 molder 27-Nov-17 11:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 626 molder 01-Dec-17 03:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 605 molder 05-Dec-17 04:24
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 591 molder 11-Dec-17 07:43
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Re: Xmas joke 596 michael seabrook 16-Dec-17 07:58
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 593 molder 29-Dec-17 00:05
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 624 molder 12-Jan-18 04:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 574 molder 30-Jan-18 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 651 molder 02-Feb-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 675 molder 23-Feb-18 22:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 587 molder 16-Mar-18 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 554 Brian Patterson 16-Mar-18 20:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 620 molder 17-Mar-18 13:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 600 molder 24-Apr-18 03:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 561 molder 01-May-18 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 579 molder 04-May-18 03:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 552 molder 11-May-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 541 molder 25-May-18 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 540 molder 30-May-18 11:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 554 molder 08-Jun-18 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 523 molder 12-Jun-18 04:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 544 molder 23-Jun-18 00:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 486 molder 17-Aug-18 04:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 496 molder 21-Aug-18 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 502 molder 25-Sep-18 10:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 516 molder 05-Oct-18 04:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 517 Brian Patterson 06-Oct-18 03:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 471 molder 19-Oct-18 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 414 molder 04-Dec-18 10:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 447 molder 08-Dec-18 05:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 391 molder 18-Jan-19 04:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 374 molder 05-Feb-19 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 369 Sirfiroth 07-Feb-19 17:29
Ed’s Deathbed Bequest 356 Dr. Troglodyte 12-Feb-19 18:40
WHAT IF ??? 366 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Feb-19 23:55
Re: WHAT IF ??? 351 molder 15-Feb-19 11:28
Rodney Dangerfield on Carson: 6 mins 363 Poster Boy 15-Feb-19 23:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 352 molder 08-Mar-19 11:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 367 molder 12-Apr-19 05:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 310 molder 18-Apr-19 22:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 308 molder 23-Apr-19 03:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 333 molder 26-Apr-19 01:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 258 molder 11-Jun-19 21:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 309 molder 12-Jun-19 10:09
Welding 101 290 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Jun-19 19:48
Re: Welding 101 261 molder 22-Jun-19 11:24
bltch 272 Dr. Troglodyte 05-Jul-19 16:43
You had to be there… 287 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Jul-19 17:54
Awesome! 267 Sirfiroth 08-Jul-19 19:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 240 molder 16-Jul-19 02:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 267 ldennyjr 26-Jul-19 01:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 286 Nolondil 27-Jul-19 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 211 molder 23-Aug-19 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 230 Eddie Larry 27-Aug-19 23:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 223 molder 30-Aug-19 10:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 205 drew 11-Sep-19 04:28
After All… 184 Dr. Troglodyte 19-Sep-19 15:10
Re: After All… 192 molder 20-Sep-19 12:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 174 molder 04-Oct-19 05:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 192 michael seabrook 07-Oct-19 20:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 175 molder 08-Oct-19 11:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 195 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 176 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 187 molder 13-Oct-19 10:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 166 Brian Patterson 15-Oct-19 02:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 197 jazzmumbles 08-Oct-19 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 191 molder 15-Oct-19 05:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 171 molder 18-Oct-19 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 183 molder 29-Oct-19 20:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 166 Brian Patterson 15-Nov-19 02:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 148 molder 26-Nov-19 11:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 127 molder 13-Dec-19 12:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 118 Glass Jigsaw 14-Dec-19 15:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 104 molder 03-Jan-20 06:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 104 molder 10-Jan-20 04:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 73 molder 02-Mar-20 12:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 70 molder 13-Mar-20 11:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 54 molder 03-Apr-20 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 79 Eddie Larry 12-Apr-20 04:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 39 Mike S 12-May-20 19:26


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