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Her First Date ...

 
If you didn't see this on the Tonight Show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it.

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize !

She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... and the guy had taken
her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City,Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful, until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that
she should not have had that extra latte !!

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere !
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told
him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. 
In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to
steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was
a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.  All she could think
about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued
against the car's fender.  Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as
she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due
to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,
she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long?' with a reply that indeed,
she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance !

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then,
as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also
were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal !
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.
Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'.  And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment .. 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out ?
He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
 

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Joke Of The Day! 12819 Brian Patterson 19-Feb-16 17:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 931 molder 22-Feb-16 11:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 402 molder 12-May-18 11:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 957 Brian Patterson 22-Feb-16 20:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1036 molder 23-Feb-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 871 michael seabrook 22-Feb-16 22:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 874 molder 23-Feb-16 04:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 958 Brian Patterson 23-Feb-16 16:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 973 Nolondil 22-Feb-16 23:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 942 Sirfiroth 22-Feb-16 23:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 906 molder 26-Feb-16 04:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 674 molder 31-Mar-17 06:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 768 Brian Patterson 31-Mar-17 16:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 880 carolb 26-Feb-16 12:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 978 Brian Patterson 01-Mar-16 23:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 866 michael seabrook 07-Mar-16 18:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 868 michael seabrook 10-Mar-16 22:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 912 Brian Patterson 10-Mar-16 23:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 953 Poster Boy 13-Mar-16 00:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 960 Brian Patterson 21-Mar-16 15:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 879 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 16:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 916 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 17:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 944 molder 22-Mar-16 06:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 937 molder 24-Mar-16 04:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 886 michael seabrook 27-Mar-16 00:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 920 molder 29-Mar-16 06:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 887 molder 02-Apr-16 10:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 865 michael seabrook 02-Apr-16 12:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 877 molder 07-Apr-16 09:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 773 Eddie Larry 08-Apr-16 03:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 846 molder 08-Apr-16 06:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 814 Brian Patterson 08-Apr-16 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 803 molder 13-Apr-16 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 833 molder 19-Apr-16 12:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 954 molder 10-May-16 11:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 868 molder 18-Jun-16 06:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 755 Brian Patterson 18-Jun-16 14:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 832 molder 21-Jun-16 05:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 857 molder 01-Jul-16 07:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 754 michael seabrook 02-Jul-16 17:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 749 molder 12-Jul-16 04:53
Jokes for seniors - not PC 875 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 01:17
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 745 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 01:19
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 737 molder 29-Jul-16 05:46
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 720 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 14:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 738 molder 05-Aug-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 756 Brian Patterson 05-Aug-16 16:23
Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 782 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Aug-16 21:39
Re: Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 747 molder 09-Aug-16 11:32
Re: Joke Of The Day!-Redneck Humor 737 Brian Patterson 09-Aug-16 18:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 689 michael seabrook 10-Aug-16 20:21
Two Candidates Go Into a Bakery on the Campaign Trail… 808 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Aug-16 18:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 845 molder 19-Aug-16 03:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 638 Brian Patterson 22-Aug-16 15:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 775 molder 22-Aug-16 23:56
May I Play Through? 736 Dr. Troglodyte 22-Aug-16 15:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 767 Sirfiroth 25-Aug-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 662 molder 26-Aug-16 05:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 695 molder 26-Aug-16 07:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 836 brett z 29-Aug-16 22:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 736 molder 06-Sep-16 03:33
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Re: Getting Some 788 molder 16-Sep-16 05:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 780 Thanos5150 19-Sep-16 05:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 696 Brian Patterson 20-Sep-16 21:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 693 molder 23-Sep-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 787 molder 30-Sep-16 07:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 731 Sirfiroth 03-Oct-16 23:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 835 molder 07-Oct-16 03:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 769 molder 21-Oct-16 09:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 632 molder 04-Nov-16 11:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 694 Brian Patterson 04-Nov-16 15:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 767 molder 04-Nov-16 20:52
Squat 766 randompHactor 08-Nov-16 06:06
Re: Squat 665 molder 08-Nov-16 09:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 799 aurora 09-Nov-16 17:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 661 Brian Patterson 10-Nov-16 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 686 aurora 10-Nov-16 18:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 708 randompHactor 10-Nov-16 18:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 547 Brian Patterson 10-Nov-16 19:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 612 molder 11-Nov-16 06:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 614 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 04:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 585 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 718 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 769 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 07:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 636 Aeschylus 13-Nov-16 06:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 732 molder 13-Nov-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 674 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 07:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 694 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 606 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 624 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 636 Brian Patterson 15-Nov-16 17:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 758 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 612 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:34
Re: Joke Of The Day! 628 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 587 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 690 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 633 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 656 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 736 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 707 aurora 18-Nov-16 06:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 795 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 07:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 746 Aeschylus 19-Nov-16 00:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 708 Aeschylus 20-Nov-16 22:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 662 Aeschylus 22-Nov-16 06:41
Re: Joke Of The Day! 743 Eddie Larry 26-Nov-16 04:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 662 molder 26-Nov-16 07:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 676 Eddie Larry 26-Nov-16 05:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 714 Sirfiroth 01-Dec-16 16:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 672 molder 02-Dec-16 11:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 679 molder 06-Dec-16 04:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 673 molder 13-Dec-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 667 Brian Patterson 13-Dec-16 16:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 768 molder 23-Dec-16 06:40
Joke Of The Day! 619 Dr. Troglodyte 24-Dec-16 20:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 667 molder 27-Dec-16 09:49
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 786 molder 16-Feb-17 04:09
Re: Joke Of The Day! 759 Eddie Larry 26-Feb-17 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 752 carolb 01-Mar-17 01:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 719 Eddie Larry 01-Mar-17 19:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 623 carolb 01-Mar-17 20:14
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 656 carolb 02-Mar-17 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 599 michael seabrook 05-Mar-17 22:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 721 carolb 05-Mar-17 23:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 619 michael seabrook 11-Mar-17 23:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 703 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 584 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 00:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 675 carolb 12-Mar-17 00:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 692 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 07:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 632 carolb 12-Mar-17 13:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 595 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 20:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 624 carolb 12-Mar-17 21:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 623 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 21:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 640 michael seabrook 21-Mar-17 14:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 698 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 626 molder 03-Mar-17 03:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 666 molder 10-Mar-17 02:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 712 Brian Patterson 10-Mar-17 16:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 696 molder 21-Mar-17 08:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 621 michael seabrook 25-Mar-17 08:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 772 molder 04-Apr-17 02:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 721 molder 21-Apr-17 03:02
Re: Joke Of The Day! 630 Archaic 21-Apr-17 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 496 molder 24-Apr-17 04:37
Did you hear about the Doctor on the United Flight? 843 Archaic 24-Apr-17 10:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 545 Brian Patterson 24-Apr-17 14:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 586 molder 25-Apr-17 05:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 766 molder 02-May-17 10:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 666 Brian Patterson 02-May-17 23:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 697 molder 09-May-17 02:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 599 AstralDruid 17-May-17 06:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 608 michael seabrook 17-May-17 21:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 527 Brian Patterson 22-May-17 18:03
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 629 molder 24-May-17 01:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 589 molder 27-May-17 11:05
Karma - angry ole' geezer gets his come-uppance! 618 carolb 30-May-17 19:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 622 Dr. Troglodyte 06-Jun-17 16:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 552 Brian Patterson 06-Jun-17 22:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 639 molder 09-Jun-17 03:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 644 molder 20-Jun-17 01:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 554 Brian Patterson 22-Jun-17 20:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 453 molder 22-Jun-17 22:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 474 Sirfiroth 23-Jun-17 02:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 696 molder 23-Jun-17 03:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 586 molder 30-Jun-17 03:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 548 Brian Patterson 30-Jun-17 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 537 Deep1 02-Jul-17 07:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 463 Brian Patterson 04-Jul-17 15:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 562 molder 14-Jul-17 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 522 Brian Patterson 14-Jul-17 17:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 591 molder 21-Jul-17 05:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 445 Brian Patterson 25-Jul-17 16:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 530 muppedo 26-Jul-17 11:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 614 Brian Patterson 28-Jul-17 14:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 463 Sirfiroth 28-Jul-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 566 molder 01-Aug-17 03:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 534 molder 04-Aug-17 03:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 457 Brian Patterson 04-Aug-17 20:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 490 molder 08-Aug-17 03:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 451 molder 11-Aug-17 03:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 459 Brian Patterson 15-Aug-17 15:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 467 molder 18-Aug-17 05:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 421 Fsbirdhouse 23-Aug-17 17:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 447 michael seabrook 23-Aug-17 21:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 431 Fsbirdhouse 31-Aug-17 16:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 455 molder 31-Aug-17 16:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 502 Fsbirdhouse 01-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 446 Brian Patterson 01-Sep-17 19:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 445 molder 02-Sep-17 19:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 462 Brian Patterson 05-Sep-17 15:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 540 molder 15-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 443 molder 03-Oct-17 03:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 494 Brian Patterson 03-Oct-17 23:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 490 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 481 molder 09-Oct-17 05:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 420 Brian Patterson 09-Oct-17 18:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 457 molder 06-Oct-17 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 477 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 05:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 466 molder 10-Oct-17 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 419 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 410 Eddie Larry 27-Oct-17 17:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 449 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 18:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 425 molder 21-Nov-17 02:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 409 molder 22-Nov-17 21:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 448 muppedo 25-Nov-17 02:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 457 molder 27-Nov-17 11:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 415 molder 01-Dec-17 03:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 409 molder 05-Dec-17 04:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 422 molder 08-Dec-17 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 387 molder 11-Dec-17 07:43
Xmas joke 420 drew 13-Dec-17 23:34
Re: Xmas joke 397 michael seabrook 16-Dec-17 07:58
Re: Xmas joke 404 drew 18-Dec-17 00:32
Christmas Joke 392 carolb 18-Dec-17 23:37
Re: Christmas Joke 390 molder 19-Dec-17 04:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 408 molder 15-Dec-17 03:33
New Job in Chicago 386 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Dec-17 17:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 385 molder 28-Dec-17 03:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 392 molder 29-Dec-17 00:05
The Two Friends 393 Dr. Troglodyte 31-Dec-17 17:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 395 molder 03-Jan-18 04:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 403 molder 12-Jan-18 04:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 376 molder 30-Jan-18 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 457 molder 02-Feb-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 438 molder 23-Feb-18 22:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 369 molder 16-Mar-18 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 358 Brian Patterson 16-Mar-18 20:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 395 molder 17-Mar-18 13:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 382 molder 24-Apr-18 03:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 363 molder 01-May-18 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 363 molder 04-May-18 03:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 350 molder 11-May-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 343 molder 25-May-18 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 340 molder 30-May-18 11:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 338 molder 08-Jun-18 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 334 molder 12-Jun-18 04:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 335 molder 23-Jun-18 00:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 286 molder 17-Aug-18 04:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 294 molder 21-Aug-18 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 299 molder 25-Sep-18 10:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 304 molder 05-Oct-18 04:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 314 Brian Patterson 06-Oct-18 03:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 279 molder 19-Oct-18 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 227 molder 04-Dec-18 10:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 254 molder 08-Dec-18 05:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 183 molder 18-Jan-19 04:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 170 molder 05-Feb-19 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 161 Sirfiroth 07-Feb-19 17:29
Ed’s Deathbed Bequest 151 Dr. Troglodyte 12-Feb-19 18:40
WHAT IF ??? 154 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Feb-19 23:55
Re: WHAT IF ??? 144 molder 15-Feb-19 11:28
Rodney Dangerfield on Carson: 6 mins 165 Poster Boy 15-Feb-19 23:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 149 molder 08-Mar-19 11:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 128 molder 12-Apr-19 05:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 101 molder 18-Apr-19 22:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 92 molder 23-Apr-19 03:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 124 molder 26-Apr-19 01:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 59 molder 11-Jun-19 21:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 80 molder 12-Jun-19 10:09
Welding 101 70 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Jun-19 19:48
Re: Welding 101 60 molder 22-Jun-19 11:24
bltch 55 Dr. Troglodyte 05-Jul-19 16:43
You had to be there… 42 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Jul-19 17:54
Awesome! 59 Sirfiroth 08-Jul-19 19:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 38 molder 16-Jul-19 02:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 68 ldennyjr 26-Jul-19 01:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 56 Nolondil 27-Jul-19 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 11 molder 23-Aug-19 05:07


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