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Her First Date ...

 
If you didn't see this on the Tonight Show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it.

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize !

She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... and the guy had taken
her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City,Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful, until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that
she should not have had that extra latte !!

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere !
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told
him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. 
In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to
steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was
a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.  All she could think
about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued
against the car's fender.  Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as
she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due
to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,
she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long?' with a reply that indeed,
she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance !

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then,
as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also
were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal !
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.
Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'.  And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment .. 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out ?
He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
 

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Joke Of The Day! 14946 Brian Patterson 19-Feb-16 17:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1078 molder 22-Feb-16 11:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 538 molder 12-May-18 11:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1090 Brian Patterson 22-Feb-16 20:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1183 molder 23-Feb-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1028 michael seabrook 22-Feb-16 22:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1004 molder 23-Feb-16 04:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1086 Brian Patterson 23-Feb-16 16:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1110 Nolondil 22-Feb-16 23:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1076 Sirfiroth 22-Feb-16 23:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1033 molder 26-Feb-16 04:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 816 molder 31-Mar-17 06:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 897 Brian Patterson 31-Mar-17 16:33
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1107 Brian Patterson 01-Mar-16 23:38
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1005 michael seabrook 10-Mar-16 22:45
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 1096 Brian Patterson 21-Mar-16 15:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1005 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 16:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1035 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 17:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1076 molder 22-Mar-16 06:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1081 molder 24-Mar-16 04:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1007 michael seabrook 27-Mar-16 00:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1048 molder 29-Mar-16 06:56
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 980 michael seabrook 02-Apr-16 12:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1000 molder 07-Apr-16 09:55
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 962 molder 08-Apr-16 06:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 938 Brian Patterson 08-Apr-16 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 918 molder 13-Apr-16 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 953 molder 19-Apr-16 12:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1082 molder 10-May-16 11:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1000 molder 18-Jun-16 06:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 879 Brian Patterson 18-Jun-16 14:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 956 molder 21-Jun-16 05:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 994 molder 01-Jul-16 07:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 868 michael seabrook 02-Jul-16 17:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 875 molder 12-Jul-16 04:53
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Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 852 molder 29-Jul-16 05:46
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 838 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 14:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 855 molder 05-Aug-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 871 Brian Patterson 05-Aug-16 16:23
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Re: Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 874 molder 09-Aug-16 11:32
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 974 molder 19-Aug-16 03:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 763 Brian Patterson 22-Aug-16 15:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 898 molder 22-Aug-16 23:56
May I Play Through? 881 Dr. Troglodyte 22-Aug-16 15:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 894 Sirfiroth 25-Aug-16 13:33
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 923 molder 30-Sep-16 07:49
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Re: Squat 788 molder 08-Nov-16 09:59
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 701 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 906 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 07:23
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 751 carolb 12-Mar-17 13:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 717 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 20:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 751 carolb 12-Mar-17 21:23
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 800 molder 10-Mar-17 02:24
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 822 molder 09-May-17 02:30
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 676 Brian Patterson 22-Jun-17 20:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 575 molder 22-Jun-17 22:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 596 Sirfiroth 23-Jun-17 02:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 821 molder 23-Jun-17 03:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 711 molder 30-Jun-17 03:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 683 Brian Patterson 30-Jun-17 18:03
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 588 Brian Patterson 04-Jul-17 15:50
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 637 Brian Patterson 14-Jul-17 17:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 725 molder 21-Jul-17 05:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 560 Brian Patterson 25-Jul-17 16:06
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 739 Brian Patterson 28-Jul-17 14:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 589 Sirfiroth 28-Jul-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 687 molder 01-Aug-17 03:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 654 molder 04-Aug-17 03:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 573 Brian Patterson 04-Aug-17 20:01
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 574 molder 11-Aug-17 03:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 590 Brian Patterson 15-Aug-17 15:00
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 557 Fsbirdhouse 31-Aug-17 16:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 572 molder 31-Aug-17 16:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 630 Fsbirdhouse 01-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 575 Brian Patterson 01-Sep-17 19:52
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 579 Brian Patterson 05-Sep-17 15:05
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 573 molder 03-Oct-17 03:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 621 Brian Patterson 03-Oct-17 23:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 618 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 602 molder 09-Oct-17 05:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 550 Brian Patterson 09-Oct-17 18:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 582 molder 06-Oct-17 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 597 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 05:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 600 molder 10-Oct-17 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 542 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 535 Eddie Larry 27-Oct-17 17:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 571 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 18:57
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 531 molder 22-Nov-17 21:37
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 527 molder 05-Dec-17 04:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 530 molder 08-Dec-17 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 511 molder 11-Dec-17 07:43
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Re: Xmas joke 517 michael seabrook 16-Dec-17 07:58
Re: Xmas joke 534 drew 18-Dec-17 00:32
Christmas Joke 504 carolb 18-Dec-17 23:37
Re: Christmas Joke 508 molder 19-Dec-17 04:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 521 molder 15-Dec-17 03:33
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 570 molder 02-Feb-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 574 molder 23-Feb-18 22:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 499 molder 16-Mar-18 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 479 Brian Patterson 16-Mar-18 20:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 530 molder 17-Mar-18 13:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 512 molder 24-Apr-18 03:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 483 molder 01-May-18 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 490 molder 04-May-18 03:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 472 molder 11-May-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 463 molder 25-May-18 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 459 molder 30-May-18 11:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 468 molder 08-Jun-18 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 447 molder 12-Jun-18 04:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 464 molder 23-Jun-18 00:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 411 molder 17-Aug-18 04:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 414 molder 21-Aug-18 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 423 molder 25-Sep-18 10:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 431 molder 05-Oct-18 04:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 437 Brian Patterson 06-Oct-18 03:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 398 molder 19-Oct-18 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 340 molder 04-Dec-18 10:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 368 molder 08-Dec-18 05:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 311 molder 18-Jan-19 04:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 293 molder 05-Feb-19 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 287 Sirfiroth 07-Feb-19 17:29
Ed’s Deathbed Bequest 273 Dr. Troglodyte 12-Feb-19 18:40
WHAT IF ??? 281 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Feb-19 23:55
Re: WHAT IF ??? 267 molder 15-Feb-19 11:28
Rodney Dangerfield on Carson: 6 mins 287 Poster Boy 15-Feb-19 23:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 275 molder 08-Mar-19 11:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 281 molder 12-Apr-19 05:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 233 molder 18-Apr-19 22:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 225 molder 23-Apr-19 03:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 251 molder 26-Apr-19 01:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 181 molder 11-Jun-19 21:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 223 molder 12-Jun-19 10:09
Welding 101 202 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Jun-19 19:48
Re: Welding 101 182 molder 22-Jun-19 11:24
bltch 191 Dr. Troglodyte 05-Jul-19 16:43
You had to be there… 194 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Jul-19 17:54
Awesome! 188 Sirfiroth 08-Jul-19 19:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 165 molder 16-Jul-19 02:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 185 ldennyjr 26-Jul-19 01:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 192 Nolondil 27-Jul-19 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 134 molder 23-Aug-19 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 144 Eddie Larry 27-Aug-19 23:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 145 molder 30-Aug-19 10:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 124 drew 11-Sep-19 04:28
After All… 105 Dr. Troglodyte 19-Sep-19 15:10
Re: After All… 119 molder 20-Sep-19 12:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 97 molder 04-Oct-19 05:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 108 michael seabrook 07-Oct-19 20:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 103 molder 08-Oct-19 11:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 111 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 95 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 104 molder 13-Oct-19 10:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 84 Brian Patterson 15-Oct-19 02:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 119 jazzmumbles 08-Oct-19 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 106 molder 15-Oct-19 05:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 97 molder 18-Oct-19 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 105 molder 29-Oct-19 20:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 91 Brian Patterson 15-Nov-19 02:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 69 molder 26-Nov-19 11:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 51 molder 13-Dec-19 12:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 49 Glass Jigsaw 14-Dec-19 15:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 29 molder 03-Jan-20 06:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 24 molder 10-Jan-20 04:57


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