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Her First Date ...

 
If you didn't see this on the Tonight Show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it.

This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize !

She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... and the guy had taken
her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City,Utah.
It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful, until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that
she should not have had that extra latte !!

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere !
Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for awhile.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told
him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. 
In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to
steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was
a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.  All she could think
about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.
As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued
against the car's fender.  Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as
she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due
to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment,
she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long?' with a reply that indeed,
she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance !

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then,
as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also
were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal !
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down.
Or perhaps that should be 'pants down'.  And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment .. 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.'

Oh and how did the first date turn out ?
He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
 

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Joke Of The Day! 13904 Brian Patterson 19-Feb-16 17:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 984 molder 22-Feb-16 11:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 456 molder 12-May-18 11:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1005 Brian Patterson 22-Feb-16 20:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1085 molder 23-Feb-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 939 michael seabrook 22-Feb-16 22:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 923 molder 23-Feb-16 04:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1013 Brian Patterson 23-Feb-16 16:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1025 Nolondil 22-Feb-16 23:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 991 Sirfiroth 22-Feb-16 23:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 954 molder 26-Feb-16 04:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 730 molder 31-Mar-17 06:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 815 Brian Patterson 31-Mar-17 16:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 926 carolb 26-Feb-16 12:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1021 Brian Patterson 01-Mar-16 23:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 911 michael seabrook 07-Mar-16 18:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 914 michael seabrook 10-Mar-16 22:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 960 Brian Patterson 10-Mar-16 23:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1002 Poster Boy 13-Mar-16 00:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 1014 Brian Patterson 21-Mar-16 15:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 923 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 16:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 958 michael seabrook 21-Mar-16 17:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 991 molder 22-Mar-16 06:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 985 molder 24-Mar-16 04:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 932 michael seabrook 27-Mar-16 00:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 965 molder 29-Mar-16 06:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 943 molder 02-Apr-16 10:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 906 michael seabrook 02-Apr-16 12:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 921 molder 07-Apr-16 09:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 817 Eddie Larry 08-Apr-16 03:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 890 molder 08-Apr-16 06:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 858 Brian Patterson 08-Apr-16 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 843 molder 13-Apr-16 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 877 molder 19-Apr-16 12:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 998 molder 10-May-16 11:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 917 molder 18-Jun-16 06:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 799 Brian Patterson 18-Jun-16 14:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 876 molder 21-Jun-16 05:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 911 molder 01-Jul-16 07:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 795 michael seabrook 02-Jul-16 17:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 795 molder 12-Jul-16 04:53
Jokes for seniors - not PC 924 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 01:17
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 787 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 01:19
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 776 molder 29-Jul-16 05:46
Re: Jokes for seniors - not PC 766 Eddie Larry 29-Jul-16 14:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 780 molder 05-Aug-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 800 Brian Patterson 05-Aug-16 16:23
Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 830 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Aug-16 21:39
Re: Boudreaux from Thibodeaux 791 molder 09-Aug-16 11:32
Re: Joke Of The Day!-Redneck Humor 785 Brian Patterson 09-Aug-16 18:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 735 michael seabrook 10-Aug-16 20:21
Two Candidates Go Into a Bakery on the Campaign Trail… 857 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Aug-16 18:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 893 molder 19-Aug-16 03:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 686 Brian Patterson 22-Aug-16 15:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 820 molder 22-Aug-16 23:56
May I Play Through? 791 Dr. Troglodyte 22-Aug-16 15:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 810 Sirfiroth 25-Aug-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 706 molder 26-Aug-16 05:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 747 molder 26-Aug-16 07:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 881 brett z 29-Aug-16 22:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 784 molder 06-Sep-16 03:33
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Re: Getting Some 829 molder 16-Sep-16 05:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 843 Thanos5150 19-Sep-16 05:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 740 Brian Patterson 20-Sep-16 21:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 740 molder 23-Sep-16 05:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 841 molder 30-Sep-16 07:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 782 Sirfiroth 03-Oct-16 23:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 893 molder 07-Oct-16 03:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 816 molder 21-Oct-16 09:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 674 molder 04-Nov-16 11:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 740 Brian Patterson 04-Nov-16 15:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 816 molder 04-Nov-16 20:52
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Re: Squat 707 molder 08-Nov-16 09:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 848 aurora 09-Nov-16 17:20
Re: Joke Of The Day! 707 Brian Patterson 10-Nov-16 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 728 aurora 10-Nov-16 18:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 749 randompHactor 10-Nov-16 18:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 587 Brian Patterson 10-Nov-16 19:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 652 molder 11-Nov-16 06:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 654 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 04:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 625 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 761 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 05:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 819 Aeschylus 12-Nov-16 07:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 682 Aeschylus 13-Nov-16 06:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 777 molder 13-Nov-16 13:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 716 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 07:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 736 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 645 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 671 Aeschylus 15-Nov-16 08:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 675 Brian Patterson 15-Nov-16 17:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 807 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 654 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:34
Re: Joke Of The Day! 672 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:35
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 734 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 673 aurora 18-Nov-16 05:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 700 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:58
Re: Joke Of The Day! 778 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 05:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 748 aurora 18-Nov-16 06:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 841 Aeschylus 18-Nov-16 07:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 792 Aeschylus 19-Nov-16 00:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 755 Aeschylus 20-Nov-16 22:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 705 Aeschylus 22-Nov-16 06:41
Re: Joke Of The Day! 785 Eddie Larry 26-Nov-16 04:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 703 molder 26-Nov-16 07:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 723 Eddie Larry 26-Nov-16 05:15
Re: Joke Of The Day! 764 Sirfiroth 01-Dec-16 16:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 726 molder 02-Dec-16 11:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 727 molder 06-Dec-16 04:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 722 molder 13-Dec-16 04:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 712 Brian Patterson 13-Dec-16 16:22
Re: Joke Of The Day! 829 molder 23-Dec-16 06:40
Joke Of The Day! 671 Dr. Troglodyte 24-Dec-16 20:11
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 815 Eddie Larry 26-Feb-17 03:32
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Re: Joke Of The Day! 763 Eddie Larry 01-Mar-17 19:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 661 carolb 01-Mar-17 20:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 788 Eddie Larry 02-Mar-17 22:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 710 carolb 02-Mar-17 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 654 michael seabrook 05-Mar-17 22:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 767 carolb 05-Mar-17 23:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 662 michael seabrook 11-Mar-17 23:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 749 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 627 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 00:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 720 carolb 12-Mar-17 00:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 738 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 07:16
Re: Joke Of The Day! 675 carolb 12-Mar-17 13:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 637 michael seabrook 12-Mar-17 20:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 668 carolb 12-Mar-17 21:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 668 randompHactor 12-Mar-17 21:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 686 michael seabrook 21-Mar-17 14:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 745 carolb 11-Mar-17 23:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 673 molder 03-Mar-17 03:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 716 molder 10-Mar-17 02:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 763 Brian Patterson 10-Mar-17 16:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 747 molder 21-Mar-17 08:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 681 michael seabrook 25-Mar-17 08:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 820 molder 04-Apr-17 02:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 769 molder 21-Apr-17 03:02
Re: Joke Of The Day! 677 Archaic 21-Apr-17 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 538 molder 24-Apr-17 04:37
Did you hear about the Doctor on the United Flight? 904 Archaic 24-Apr-17 10:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 593 Brian Patterson 24-Apr-17 14:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 629 molder 25-Apr-17 05:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 814 molder 02-May-17 10:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 710 Brian Patterson 02-May-17 23:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 744 molder 09-May-17 02:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 647 AstralDruid 17-May-17 06:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 655 michael seabrook 17-May-17 21:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 570 Brian Patterson 22-May-17 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! How to make a bad mistake 552 molder 23-May-17 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 682 molder 24-May-17 01:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 631 molder 27-May-17 11:05
Karma - angry ole' geezer gets his come-uppance! 660 carolb 30-May-17 19:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 666 Dr. Troglodyte 06-Jun-17 16:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 593 Brian Patterson 06-Jun-17 22:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 690 molder 09-Jun-17 03:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 691 molder 20-Jun-17 01:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 601 Brian Patterson 22-Jun-17 20:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 498 molder 22-Jun-17 22:23
Re: Joke Of The Day! 520 Sirfiroth 23-Jun-17 02:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 744 molder 23-Jun-17 03:27
Re: Joke Of The Day! 630 molder 30-Jun-17 03:31
Re: Joke Of The Day! 598 Brian Patterson 30-Jun-17 18:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 582 Deep1 02-Jul-17 07:21
Re: Joke Of The Day! 509 Brian Patterson 04-Jul-17 15:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 614 molder 14-Jul-17 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 565 Brian Patterson 14-Jul-17 17:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 645 molder 21-Jul-17 05:26
Re: Joke Of The Day! 487 Brian Patterson 25-Jul-17 16:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 573 muppedo 26-Jul-17 11:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 660 Brian Patterson 28-Jul-17 14:38
Re: Joke Of The Day! 508 Sirfiroth 28-Jul-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 612 molder 01-Aug-17 03:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 579 molder 04-Aug-17 03:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 497 Brian Patterson 04-Aug-17 20:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 537 molder 08-Aug-17 03:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 493 molder 11-Aug-17 03:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 507 Brian Patterson 15-Aug-17 15:00
Re: Joke Of The Day! 510 molder 18-Aug-17 05:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 463 Fsbirdhouse 23-Aug-17 17:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 491 michael seabrook 23-Aug-17 21:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 477 Fsbirdhouse 31-Aug-17 16:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 498 molder 31-Aug-17 16:55
Re: Joke Of The Day! 549 Fsbirdhouse 01-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 492 Brian Patterson 01-Sep-17 19:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 487 molder 02-Sep-17 19:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 505 Brian Patterson 05-Sep-17 15:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 585 molder 15-Sep-17 04:43
Re: Joke Of The Day! 490 molder 03-Oct-17 03:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 542 Brian Patterson 03-Oct-17 23:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 535 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 524 molder 09-Oct-17 05:36
Re: Joke Of The Day! 470 Brian Patterson 09-Oct-17 18:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 504 molder 06-Oct-17 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 521 Fsbirdhouse 09-Oct-17 05:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 519 molder 10-Oct-17 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 465 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 14:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 459 Eddie Larry 27-Oct-17 17:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 494 Brian Patterson 27-Oct-17 18:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 467 molder 21-Nov-17 02:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 453 molder 22-Nov-17 21:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 493 muppedo 25-Nov-17 02:17
Re: Joke Of The Day! 504 molder 27-Nov-17 11:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 462 molder 01-Dec-17 03:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 452 molder 05-Dec-17 04:24
Re: Joke Of The Day! 463 molder 08-Dec-17 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 428 molder 11-Dec-17 07:43
Xmas joke 467 drew 13-Dec-17 23:34
Re: Xmas joke 437 michael seabrook 16-Dec-17 07:58
Re: Xmas joke 455 drew 18-Dec-17 00:32
Christmas Joke 433 carolb 18-Dec-17 23:37
Re: Christmas Joke 434 molder 19-Dec-17 04:25
Re: Joke Of The Day! 452 molder 15-Dec-17 03:33
New Job in Chicago 432 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Dec-17 17:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 436 molder 28-Dec-17 03:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 434 molder 29-Dec-17 00:05
The Two Friends 436 Dr. Troglodyte 31-Dec-17 17:19
Re: Joke Of The Day! 438 molder 03-Jan-18 04:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 454 molder 12-Jan-18 04:05
Re: Joke Of The Day! 420 molder 30-Jan-18 03:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 498 molder 02-Feb-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 490 molder 23-Feb-18 22:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 420 molder 16-Mar-18 04:42
Re: Joke Of The Day! 407 Brian Patterson 16-Mar-18 20:33
Re: Joke Of The Day! 446 molder 17-Mar-18 13:04
Re: Joke Of The Day! 433 molder 24-Apr-18 03:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 408 molder 01-May-18 03:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 412 molder 04-May-18 03:39
Re: Joke Of The Day! 397 molder 11-May-18 04:40
Re: Joke Of The Day! 385 molder 25-May-18 04:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 386 molder 30-May-18 11:28
Re: Joke Of The Day! 385 molder 08-Jun-18 03:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 379 molder 12-Jun-18 04:57
Re: Joke Of The Day! 381 molder 23-Jun-18 00:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 333 molder 17-Aug-18 04:11
Re: Joke Of The Day! 339 molder 21-Aug-18 04:54
Re: Joke Of The Day! 347 molder 25-Sep-18 10:59
Re: Joke Of The Day! 350 molder 05-Oct-18 04:32
Re: Joke Of The Day! 362 Brian Patterson 06-Oct-18 03:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 322 molder 19-Oct-18 04:52
Re: Joke Of The Day! 270 molder 04-Dec-18 10:48
Re: Joke Of The Day! 297 molder 08-Dec-18 05:14
Re: Joke Of The Day! 232 molder 18-Jan-19 04:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 218 molder 05-Feb-19 11:29
Re: Joke Of The Day! 208 Sirfiroth 07-Feb-19 17:29
Ed’s Deathbed Bequest 200 Dr. Troglodyte 12-Feb-19 18:40
WHAT IF ??? 199 Dr. Troglodyte 13-Feb-19 23:55
Re: WHAT IF ??? 193 molder 15-Feb-19 11:28
Rodney Dangerfield on Carson: 6 mins 215 Poster Boy 15-Feb-19 23:06
Re: Joke Of The Day! 200 molder 08-Mar-19 11:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 198 molder 12-Apr-19 05:12
Re: Joke Of The Day! 151 molder 18-Apr-19 22:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 141 molder 23-Apr-19 03:53
Re: Joke Of The Day! 173 molder 26-Apr-19 01:01
Re: Joke Of The Day! 108 molder 11-Jun-19 21:47
Re: Joke Of The Day! 137 molder 12-Jun-19 10:09
Welding 101 120 Dr. Troglodyte 18-Jun-19 19:48
Re: Welding 101 110 molder 22-Jun-19 11:24
bltch 112 Dr. Troglodyte 05-Jul-19 16:43
You had to be there… 97 Dr. Troglodyte 08-Jul-19 17:54
Awesome! 113 Sirfiroth 08-Jul-19 19:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 89 molder 16-Jul-19 02:56
Re: Joke Of The Day! 115 ldennyjr 26-Jul-19 01:13
Re: Joke Of The Day! 115 Nolondil 27-Jul-19 18:51
Re: Joke Of The Day! 69 molder 23-Aug-19 05:07
Re: Joke Of The Day! 63 Eddie Larry 27-Aug-19 23:35
Re: Joke Of The Day! 65 molder 30-Aug-19 10:10
Re: Joke Of The Day! 48 drew 11-Sep-19 04:28
After All… 35 Dr. Troglodyte 19-Sep-19 15:10
Re: After All… 51 molder 20-Sep-19 12:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 29 molder 04-Oct-19 05:18
Re: Joke Of The Day! 27 michael seabrook 07-Oct-19 20:50
Re: Joke Of The Day! 33 molder 08-Oct-19 11:30
Re: Joke Of The Day! 18 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:46
Re: Joke Of The Day! 17 Brian Patterson 13-Oct-19 01:49
Re: Joke Of The Day! 17 molder 13-Oct-19 10:45
Re: Joke Of The Day! 13 Brian Patterson 15-Oct-19 02:37
Re: Joke Of The Day! 43 jazzmumbles 08-Oct-19 22:44
Re: Joke Of The Day! 18 molder 15-Oct-19 05:03
Re: Joke Of The Day! 16 molder 18-Oct-19 04:40


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