Your posting is always so positive. When I said I was in a down time, I meant concerning my Northernway Studies. Personally, I have never been happier in my life. Since I've given up "religion" I finally feel free. I'm free to read as much as possible to try obtain as much knowledge as possible. But I have learned that having the information input in my brain doesn't mean anything, if I don't use it for the bettermeant of myself and other people. So many people don't understand how you can believe in Jesus and not consider yourself a Christian. I was once lost spiritually and the I was "saved", but then I kept growing and I wanted a deeper understanding and I kept asking "why" and "what about". The church I attended would not tolerate those kind of questions. I was just supposed to belive. It was when I started reading books like Holy Blood, Holy Grail and books by Graham Hancock, Andrew Collins, John Crossan, Laurence Gardner, Dione Fotune and Israel Regardi and delving into the Dead Sea Scrolls, Nag Hamidi. . . they go on and on, as you know, that I realized we are meant to study and learn, but we are also expected to use it for the bettermeant of mankind. The Knights Templar I truly believe were some of the first seekers of truth in the new age. We needed them as they were then to take the risk. Where would we all be now if they didn't. Maybe today, the Knights Templar don't serve the same purpose as they originally set out to, but I bet Paul would not be to happy and Peter esecialy unhappy to see what kind of church his corner stone turned into. I live in an area in the US where we have people from all over the world. I have had to learn to accept the differences in people although, I do not have to take their behaviors and beliefs as my own. I feel just fine in my non-conformity.