You wrote and quoted:
"Note also that immediately after the miracle:
"The governor of the feast called the bridegroom, And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse; but thou hast kept the good wine until now." (John 2:9-10). These words would seem to be addressed to Jesus, such that Jesus and the bridegroom are one and the same."
The govenor is addressing the Bridegroom but I don't think he's addressing Jesus because a) it doesn't say so and b) because, although Jesus produced the better wine, it doesn't necessarily follow that Jesus was in charge of it's distribution or of keeping the good wine till last.
You quoted the following from halexandria.org. I'll go though it with some comments:
"In the Fourth Gospel of John, there is the wedding at Cana. To this wedding Jesus is specifically "called" -- which is slightly curious, since he had not yet embarked on his ministry.
Anyone can be "called" to a wedding. A simple invitation is a calling.
"More curious still, however, is the fact that his mother "just happens" as it were, to be present as well. In fact, her presence would seem to be taken for granted."
It's not surprising that Jesus' mother was present with Jesus. Jesus was oviously close to his mother and maybe his mother was also a friend of one the couple that were getting married?
"The plot thickens when it is Mary (Jesus' mother) who not merely suggests to her son, but in effect orders him to replenish the wine. She behaves quite as if she were the hostess. It is also noteworthy that the servants comply with Mary and Jesus' orders."
This again is only specualtion and why doesn't the account simply say that it was Jesus who was getting married?
"One might also wonder if Jesus' first major miracle, the transmutation of water into wine, could have been used for such a banal purpose as some obscure village wedding. And why should two "guests" at a wedding take on themselves the responsibility of catering -- a responsibility that, by custom, should be reserved for the host?"
We don't know that in every wedding the host took responsibility for the catering.
If Jesus was the person getting married, why did his disciples, in the Gnostic Gospel of Philip, show surprise that he was showing affection towards Mary and if Jesus was married, why didn't he set the record straight? He didn't though, he just said it was because she had "light".