I have a book I've never read. I looked at the chapter headings and chapter three stood out. The book is, "Dark nights of the Soul" by Thomas Moore. The chapter heading is, "Sorting out and Starting Over".
This is it!! There is tooo much information. I cannot comprehend it all!! What's worse, I cannot compose any "certainty". It is a desert; it's hot and I am dry and parched. I know not where I am or what I'm doing.
I have attempted to correlate all the intellectual presentations in my life. I have only a broken heart and that is the only reality right now.
I was watching a Chinese movie this morning. A girl was singing and her lyrics "there is no more horizon" hit me square. I don't "have" anything and I don't know where I'm going. Nothing satisfies my need "to know". I cannot "grasp" at any teaching because it all seems to FAIL my expectations. What expectations? The expectation to have certainty of ideas: meaning to live by. The coarse ideologies are painful to consider. The fair ideologies don't seem "worth it". The reception of knowledge is like a wind and rain, but no growth of life ensues for me. There I am!!
I wait and wait for consolation, purpose. Actions of living are cold and weariness to me.
If I can "be", then I must have closure. So I am in doubt, today. I don't like to "choose" a path. I tend only to "exist" and the "great ideas" loom over me. And I can only breathe, no more.
What's next? Worth it?
Chapter three introduced two words: catharsis and deworlded (headings within the chapter).
Catharsis: "elimination of a psychological problem "by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression".
Deworlded: "stops us in our tracks, throws us off kilter, deworlds us". That is the experience, "no world" to comprehend, or to investigate, or to announce, or to hold on to. It is dire and demeaning to a personality!! The "sorting out"(out the door).
Then the "starting over": "The self in solution"(a reference to a tincture of elements). "The search for a living story is so important that it would be worth any effort to find it". This is a path to consider and attempt. So, how is "living" a consolation?
I will stop here because it is your turn to talk.
PS.The song "John Barleycorn must die" by Traffic is a similar myth about death and rebirth. Yet, I don't know the end result, personally.
Which neither space nor time touches.
|Re: Incomprehensible....||83||Itatw70s||08-Jun-18 16:13|
|Re: Incomprehensible....Comprehensible through EFFORT.||72||Enigcom||11-Jun-18 16:35|
|Re: Incomprehensible....Comprehensible through EFFORT.||68||Itatw70s||11-Jun-18 17:54|
|What floats your boat?||169||drew||16-Jun-18 00:20|