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Thank you for the correct spelling. . . . :-)

Perhaps Orpheus intuited my would be answer to his post on develpment through opposition, and my wondering if this is what caused Graham to abandon the documentary books for fiction at one point?


Living in levels of mind is not the usual way, and yet I have been there since I went into carbon freeze at 12 years old, albeit blind and deaf and a perfect shield ---- for my meddling paternal grandmother power craver adept to hide behind.


Her mind is so strong already most cannot override her interaction. But she craved to be a queen many times on the continent, and my childhood innocence provided her what she needed to spy and survive. Now I am desperately trying to get out of that sphere of influence, which has a nice spider web over the front range, and a good section of the pacific side of the mountains as well!


I certainly don't believe in oposition as a resistance weight for personal development, there are enough challenges in this life without deliberate additions. If an individual takes up a challenge and follows through there is a sense of accomplishment. If the individual is conflicted by an imposed, unnatural situation there is angst, discomfort and a sense of unfairness which can eventually cause meanspiritedness.

I have seen so many examples of poor mothering since leaving my nest and living in the car. And a few excellent ones. People are very different, and I would extrapolate this extends to many other areas. It's good to have differences, its not so good to have conflict.

Nature provides a space where cooperation yields advantage and survival.
Mankind provides a space wherein competition and ego provide advantage & survival.

For the ruminants the Gift of Herne (antlers bearing testosterone) provides the situation of competition, and breeding and then the loss of the antlers and the testosterone allows the herd to teturn to cooperative functioning.
Pretty slick idea there!
Mankind does not have this . . Except social security and retirement.

I am not the well adapted being, I am the controlled and trained, and kept being now longing for the chance to be my own person, although that ("most me") part of me has already been taken out of my life, like my Muse, and I doubt it will return.

The controllers would have you believe you are selfless, and all you are --- are the pieces they have inserted into your mind. They would never let you know which persona moving through your days & nights, looking out of your eyes or speaking from your mouth, or typing onscreen .... is you!!!

The inner parts change with the situation, and after 20 years of being one stable person, (thanks to the birth of my son), I find all this to be very disappointing, and not acceptable at all . . . They make money this way? I know I am being sold out, to make living beings out of scraps. This engenders a strong need to find the place and proper way to die, since I have no control over these actions, and will eventually be completely erased!!
. . .
I have my cousin supplyong money and his inner round-about spending it to drive higher and higher the amount I owe.


When you no longer eat, or spend, or do things as you would, you know you are gone!
I am gone, and before there was no return with out the birth of my own child . . .


Having been through the ovary harvesting spaces of the sheila-na-gig, one might lose hope, but I know life can come in other ways, I have had the experience (here and gone in less than 24 hours, but unmistakable), though it was before I fell into love and lack of control.


Now, being thrown (under the bus) into disease, missing limbs, parasites and deliberate (truly DELIBERATE INFECTION) . . . and feeling my loss of energy, self, and health, I am at pretty ragged ends.

I appreciate your posting to defray the comment of Orpheus. . . Thank you.

But those high in the polished realms of mind and the benefits that confers, perhaps find it easy to overlook the space between themselves and the lower eschelons lost in service without recourse. The differences are vast and mighty and impinge on everything . . .

Worse, my phenotype, the body which was mine at the time my son was alive, and I knew a single//integrated life, ---- was ruined by injection molding techniques, (I have photos) . . . and I was given the phenotype (fat apple, with 22 inch calves and huge ankles over the missing feet) of my Grandmother, I guess to let them sell me out to the more blinded --- as herself, though I could never be herself, and this causes me great distress!

I feel like a walking walrus, a 90 pound overweight blob, and that after 7 months of daily workouts ... missing only 3 days ... they come into my life, in June of last summer, and I gain 12 pounds in 3 days . . . I cannot seem to lose it, and there is another parasite in the peritoneal cavity! [And I seem to always smell like a whore! I an the one celibate for a life time minus 5 years!] ... beginning to seem soap box-esque!!

I want out! ---- fire or water?

Just for your enlightenment.

Breath is the courser and
Mind is the rider.
~Zoroaster

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Subject Views Written By Posted
Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 4343 michael seabrook 24-May-17 21:53
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 817 drew 27-May-17 01:38
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 829 michael seabrook 27-May-17 12:02
The mentalist of the cards 684 drew 29-May-17 01:03
Re: The mentalist of the cards 718 michael seabrook 29-May-17 07:35
Re: The mentalist of the cards 719 drew 31-May-17 01:51
Re: The mentalist of the cards 563 SallyA 11-Jun-17 03:06
Re: The mental perspective (view) defined by the existence of the cards? 194 SallyA 24-Nov-17 00:30
Re: The mental perspective (view) defined by the existence of the cards? 306 michael seabrook 25-Nov-17 10:18
Re: The mental perspective (view) . . . no rush, honest!! 281 SallyA 25-Nov-17 19:33
Re: The mental perspective (view) . . . no rush, honest!! 231 michael seabrook 27-Nov-17 21:08
Re: The mental perspective (view) . . . no rush, honest!! 201 SallyA 28-Nov-17 20:48
Re: The mental perspective (view) . . . no rush, honest!! 245 michael seabrook 29-Nov-17 22:23
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 246 naturesforce 19-Dec-17 01:48
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 235 michael seabrook 20-Dec-17 22:44
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 699 Huffer Wolf 02-Jun-17 11:05
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 669 michael seabrook 03-Jun-17 16:37
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 542 Robert Jameson 08-Jun-17 00:30
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 585 michael seabrook 08-Jun-17 21:17
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 543 Robert Jameson 09-Jun-17 00:25
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 634 SallyA 09-Jun-17 05:24
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 579 SallyA 09-Jun-17 05:33
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? .. harmonics, DNA & enhanced ability ... 549 SallyA 11-Jun-17 00:40
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? .. harmonics, DNA & enhanced ability ... 608 Thunderbird 15-Jun-17 01:46
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? .. harmonics, DNA & enhanced ability ... 285 SallyA 24-Nov-17 01:59
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 644 michael seabrook 11-Jun-17 21:05
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 542 M. J. Thomas 13-Jun-17 16:29
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 520 randompHactor 13-Jun-17 16:33
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 351 SallyA 13-Jun-17 22:57
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 511 randompHactor 13-Jun-17 23:07
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? ... far more! 573 SallyA 15-Jun-17 02:31
Re: Sagittarius 592 drew 14-Jun-17 02:24
Re: Sagittarius ... capricorn, rabbits and birds, oh my! Ullitumi(sp?) 566 SallyA 15-Jun-17 00:15
Re: Sagittarius 521 SallyA 16-Jun-17 22:31
Re: Sagittarius 533 drew 27-Jun-17 04:43
Re: Sagittarius 529 SallyA 28-Jun-17 22:19
Re: Sagittarius 200 Tsurugi 25-Nov-17 07:54
Re: Sagittarius 188 SallyA 26-Nov-17 20:58
Re: Sagittarius .. Göbekli Tepi, the column with the sagitta bird, astronomy, musings on the long beaked one ... 532 SallyA 30-Jun-17 01:50
Re: Sagittarius .. Göbekli Tepi, the column with the sagitta bird, astronomy, musings on the long beaked one ... 466 drew 11-Jul-17 02:23
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 529 M. J. Thomas 09-Jun-17 16:14
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 527 Sirfiroth 11-Jun-17 02:29
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 549 SallyA 11-Jun-17 03:01
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 524 M. J. Thomas 11-Jun-17 08:50
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 511 Sirfiroth 11-Jun-17 13:43
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 508 michael seabrook 11-Jun-17 20:55
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 599 SallyA 13-Jun-17 00:19
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 458 M. J. Thomas 13-Jun-17 15:31
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 468 SallyA 13-Jun-17 22:43
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 542 Sirfiroth 14-Jun-17 00:51
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 359 SallyA 15-Jun-17 02:10
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? Hadronic mechanic ... 8 x 8 spin cycle of ethnogens 345 SallyA 15-Jun-17 04:22
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? Hadronic mechanic ... 8 cycles per second ethnogens 513 SallyA 15-Jun-17 05:39
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? Hadronic mechanic ... 8 cycles per second ethnogens 586 Jon Ellison 15-Jun-17 10:16
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? Hadronic mechanic ... 8 cycles per second ethnogens 461 Audrey 16-Jun-17 01:02
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? Hadronic mechanic ... 8 cycles per second ethnogens 354 SallyA 16-Jun-17 02:58
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? Hadronic mechanic ... 8 x 8 spin cycle of ethnogens 412 M. J. Thomas 15-Jun-17 09:24
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians have the 8 x 8 hertz highway of consciousness of ethnogens 533 SallyA 16-Jun-17 03:28
hack the matrix 560 michael seabrook 15-Jun-17 20:04
Re: hack the matrix ... JUST .. our evolution? ... sigh 480 SallyA 16-Jun-17 03:20
Re: hack the matrix ... JUST .. our evolution? ... sigh 425 michael seabrook 16-Jun-17 05:28
Re: hack the matrix ... our evolution? ... post Zeitlin, I WONDER 485 SallyA 16-Jun-17 21:31
Re: hack the matrix ... our evolution? ... post Zeitlin, I WONDER 463 michael seabrook 17-Jun-17 10:12
keep thinking aloud 400 michael seabrook 17-Jun-17 10:14
Re: keep thinking aloud ...Book list .... Review? & .. Timeline begin ... 520 SallyA 17-Jun-17 20:27
Re: keep thinking aloud ...National Geographic Divers on the Atlantis Massiff .. 559 SallyA 17-Jun-17 21:23
Re: keep thinking aloud ...Book list .... Review? & .. Timeline begin ... 514 michael seabrook 17-Jun-17 21:31
Re: keep thinking aloud ...Book list .... Review? & .. Timeline begin ... 484 drew 11-Jul-17 02:44
Re: keep thinking aloud 12,800 BCE .. or 10,800 BCE. seawater 392 SallyA 11-Jul-17 20:30
Re: seawater 402 drew 12-Jul-17 02:24
Re: seawater 327 SallyA 12-Jul-17 02:36
Re: seawater 339 drew 12-Jul-17 02:47
Re: seawater 304 SallyA 12-Jul-17 02:58
Re: seawater 193 SallyA 26-Nov-17 21:15
Re: keep thinking aloud 12,800 BCE .. or 10,800 BCE. seawater 380 michael seabrook 12-Jul-17 16:19
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? Matrix = cosmos? 526 SallyA 13-Jun-17 22:59
a holographic universe 522 michael seabrook 14-Jun-17 01:56
Re: a holographic universe ... request for a competent time line .... 527 SallyA 16-Jun-17 01:27
Re: a holographic universe ... request for a competent time line .... 762 michael seabrook 16-Jun-17 05:29
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 472 SallyA 18-Jun-17 00:34
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 464 michael seabrook 18-Jun-17 16:06
Yipe .... allergic spiritually to dogs, and were -wolves are O.U.T ... 458 SallyA 18-Jun-17 20:50
Proto-sumerian dating to 44,000 BCE.. Correlate with Catyl Hyuck, not far from G. Tepi .. tied to comet impact??. 698 SallyA 19-Jun-17 03:03
Re: Proto-sumerian dating to 44,000 BCE.. Correlate with Catyl Hyuck, not far from G. Tepi .. tied to comet impact??. 474 michael seabrook 19-Jun-17 17:46
Re: Proto-sumerian dating to 44,000 BCE.. Correlate with Catyl Hyuck, not far from G. Tepi .. tied to comet impact??. 705 SallyA 19-Jun-17 18:27
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 315 skakos 29-Jun-17 20:35
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 348 SallyA 30-Jun-17 00:26
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians embrace solid & sober thought ... the teachers of mankind certainly did ... 590 SallyA 30-Jun-17 02:48
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? watching the matrix movies 550 SallyA 05-Jul-17 01:14
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? watching the matrix movies 415 michael seabrook 05-Jul-17 19:25
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians -- hack the matrix? ... 562 SallyA 05-Jul-17 21:21
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians -- hack the matrix? ... 573 michael seabrook 05-Jul-17 22:13
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians ... subtle sophistications ... & knowledge 499 SallyA 09-Jul-17 20:57
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians ... subtle sophistications ... & knowledge 483 michael seabrook 09-Jul-17 21:47
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians ... subtle sophistication ... mathematics & consciousness 522 SallyA 17-Jul-17 17:35
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 324 atul.seth 05-Aug-17 18:18
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 349 SallyA 05-Aug-17 21:36
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 455 michael seabrook 06-Aug-17 21:07
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 216 SallyA 23-Nov-17 23:12
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 381 michael seabrook 21-Oct-17 21:38
Now that's an interesting article... 203 drew 24-Nov-17 03:45
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 211 SallyA 26-Nov-17 21:33
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 240 drew 27-Nov-17 01:48
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 178 SallyA 27-Nov-17 17:00
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 247 drew 28-Nov-17 23:52
Re: Now that's an interesting article... YORRO YORRO 268 SallyA 29-Nov-17 18:16
Re: Now that's an interesting article... YORRO YORRO 214 drew 03-Dec-17 02:07
Re: Now that's an interesting article... YORRO YORRO Dead lands 221 SallyA 07-Dec-17 21:03
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 269 michael seabrook 27-Nov-17 22:41
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 305 drew 29-Nov-17 00:24
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 307 michael seabrook 29-Nov-17 22:30
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 236 drew 03-Dec-17 02:37
Re: Now that's an interesting article... Amitava bhudda, healing, Star Wars 237 SallyA 03-Dec-17 19:59
阿弥陀佛 269 Orpheus 03-Dec-17 20:03
Re: 阿弥陀佛 253 drew 04-Dec-17 01:38
Re: 阿弥陀佛 ... Totally off topic -- on spelling vs living inner-blind . . and opposition vs compassionate existence 252 SallyA 04-Dec-17 19:33
Re: Now that's an interesting article... Amitava bhudda, healing, Star Wars 243 drew 04-Dec-17 01:08
Re: Now that's an interesting article... Amitava bhudda, healing, Star Wars 189 SallyA 04-Dec-17 20:42
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 'being' that isn't entrapped by time's forward motion. 195 SallyA 04-Dec-17 20:59
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 'being' that isn't entrapped by time's forward motion. 178 drew 05-Dec-17 01:44
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 'being' that isn't entrapped by time's forward motion. pt2 259 drew 05-Dec-17 01:45
Re: Now that's an interesting article... kind words ... but waiting to see 312 SallyA 07-Dec-17 22:08
Re: Now that's an interesting article... 'being' that isn't entrapped by time's forward motion. 240 SallyA 07-Dec-17 21:10
Fight or flight or witness or participate, and why believing a future can be made a reality 281 drew 09-Dec-17 02:21
Re: Fight or flight or witness or participate, and why believing a future can be made a reality 207 michael seabrook 09-Dec-17 22:13
Re: Fight or flight or witness or participate, and why believing a future can be made a reality 224 SallyA 10-Dec-17 01:08
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 252 drew 10-Dec-17 02:19
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 252 SallyA 11-Dec-17 18:11
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? ... The horsemen are slaves! 194 SallyA 11-Dec-17 19:00
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 177 SallyA 11-Dec-17 19:05
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? matrix nodes 218 SallyA 11-Dec-17 20:17
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? matrix nodes 300 drew 12-Dec-17 00:59
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? pauli effect ... my life and parasites attached to my life 261 SallyA 21-Dec-17 20:58
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? 197 SallyA 21-Dec-17 20:50
Re: Did the ancient Egyptians find a way to hack the matrix? ... SPEAKING OF . . 255 SallyA 08-Feb-18 17:29


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